High Risk Behavior
by McSteamy is McMine
Summary: Meredith walked onto the balcony and wrapped her arms around Mark’s waist as she rested her head on his back. The night air was cool and the air felt light. Mer/Mark with a side of Addek
1. Hear Me

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Grey's Anatomy

**Chapter One: Hear Me**

"Work! I command you to work! Damn it why won't you work?" Meredith yelled angrily at the coffee machine that was making a weird buzzing noise and dripping dark liquid that she was sure resembled mud. Mark strolled leisurely out into the kitchen from his bedroom. Mark smiled smugly as he came up behind her and flipped the switch on the back of the black machine.  
"I hate you" She joked.  
"No you don't." Mark smiled into her hair as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "You love me." He said lightly placing kisses on her neck.  
Meredith tried to keep the smile that was creeping upon her lips away but one look from Mark was all it took. They weren't in love, but the sex, the sex was amazing.  
Mark grabbed his leather jacket that was draped on the island in the kitchen as he let go of Meredith's waist.  
"Where are you going?" Meredith asked. "You don't have to be at the hospital for another couple of hours." Mark chuckled. "I'm going out for coffee."  
"But I just made coffee" Meredith stated with a look of confusion on her face.  
Mark popped his head back into the apartment and smirked. "I know but that coffee looks like mud, I'd actually like a cup of coffee that looks like it's not going to kill me."  
Meredith sniffed the coffee in question and quickly agreed with him, she grabbed her jacket as well and they walked out of his apartment together.  
When they got into the elevator he wrapped his arms comfortably around her thin waist and kissed the top of her head, he breathed in her familiar sent of lavender and his eyes fluttered. She smelled good. He hoped she'd never stop using that conditioner of hers. It overwhelmed his senses he nipped on her ear lobe gently. The bell on the elevator dinged and the doors opened. Mark backed Meredith into the wall of the elevator and their bodies slammed against it as they kissed feverishly.  
"Well isn't this cozy." A man's voice startled them making them break apart. Meredith looked behind Mark and blushed slightly.  
Mark turned around already knowing who'd he find. His ex best friend "Derek." Mark let out a heaving sigh.  
"Hi Meredith." Derek greeted ignoring Mark's Presence. She nodded. "What are you-Why are you-?"  
"I live in this building now." Derek replied simply. "You and Mark huh." He said.  
Mark laughed. "You live here? Seriously Shep, You live in my building? What are checking up on me?"  
Derek once again ignored Mark as he eyed Meredith. She looked beautiful. She had on her light blue sweater and a white tank top underneath and a pair of dark jeans. Her blonde hair hung loosely over her shoulders and somehow her eyes looked a little more bluer than usual. She sparkled. It briefly made him wonder if she ever looked that happy when she was with him.  
Her voice broke his thoughts. "Well Derek, you see the thing is, you know how you have a wife? Mark is my boyfriend. So We'll see you at work."  
Derek felt his face get hotter and his jaw clenched as Mark sent him disarmingly charming smiles as he wrapped a protective arm around Meredith. The doors opened again and Derek stalked out. Mark smiled and kissed Meredith again as they got to the bottom floor.  
"You're a feisty one, It's sexy." He smiled.

* * *

After a morning of coffee and making out in elevators Mark and Meredith made it to the hospital a little late but they made it nonetheless.  
Christina smirked as she eyed Meredith.  
"What?" She asked.  
Christina raised an accusing eyebrow.  
"What?" Meredith asked again.  
"So you're seriously not going to tell me?"  
"Tell you what?" Meredith asked as she hurriedly threw on her light blue scrubs and white jacket.  
"Seriously you walk in here with Mc Steamy all giggly and smiley and you have nothing to tell me?"  
Meredith laughed. "What's to tell? The sex...the sex is great." She replied as they walked out of the locker room.  
"I knew it." Christina laughed. "I can't even be mad at you."  
Meredith looked at her confusingly. "You? Not mad at me? You're not going to give me a speech?"  
"Me? A speech? seriously Meredith."  
"You know about how he's Mark."  
Christina stopped walking abruptly. "Exactly he's Mark. Mc Steamy. Have you seen him?"  
"Oh yeah I've seen him." Meredith laughed "All of him." She smiled widely.  
"So what's going on? You two like a couple or something?" She asked  
"No, we have an understanding."  
"Right." Christina nodded. "So you're just screwing him."  
Miranda Bailey turned around to find her two most talked about interns dragging behind. "Yang! Grey! You're late for rounds."  
"Sorry Dr. Bailey. Both women frowned.  
She raised her eyebrow at them. "I know you are, you're two sorry asses." She grumbled. "We are on my time!" she said quietly but harshly as she walked away a head of them and the other interns standing by.  
Meredith sighed. Today...Today was going to be interesting. She wasn't sure that was the correct word but she knew today would be something. First her ex boyfriend catching her making out with his best friend..ex best friend in an elevator and then being late and then Bailey yes today, today would be something. she laughed as she remembered earlier. Who would have thought? Her and Mark. Mark and her.

* * *

Meredith smiled as she watched Mark walk over to her at lunch. She sat with George, Izzie, Alex and Christina all of which were discussing one of the patients that was admitted. A girl named Maggie her mother had watched a 55 pound tumor grow on her 18 year old daughter and never once had gotten it checked.  
Izzie excused herself from the discussion and she looked on curiously as Mark was seating himself down beside Meredith and quickly kissing her on the check before he did so.  
"Hey Stevens." He greeted Izzie as He smirked handing Meredith an apple. "Eat it, it's healthy,"  
Meredith smiled. "Awe how sweet." She replied his gestured sarcastically. "You're buying me lunch now."  
"No." He laughed. "But I do owe you a dinner."  
"What the h-"  
beeeeeeeeep  
Izzie looked down at her pager. "Damn it who's paging me? I've been getting these ridiculous pages all morning." she mumbled as she got up from the table and walked out of the cafeteria her head still buzzing.  
Derek stared on jealousy in his eyes. He used to be right where Mark was. He used to be the one sitting next to Meredith. He used to be the one making out with her in elevators and sitting to close. But he had messed up. Not telling Meredith about Addison sooner. He was going to though. He wasn't in love with her anymore he wanted their marriage to be over, he wanted Meredith. He still wanted Meredith. She was his. Well actually now she was Mark's. What didn't he ever get that he wanted? Mark wanted Addison. He got her. Mark wanted Meredith and now he had her. He was with the women Derek loved. He silently cursed him as he took a sip of water and walked out of the cafeteria.

* * *

Meredith stood over at the nurses station flipping through a few charts when she felt a shadow cast over her and she breathed a familiar sent, she closed her eyes trying to place it, and then a hand traveled down her arm and realization dawned on her and she turned to face Derek.  
"What are you doing?" He asked as she turned to face him. He was standing dangerously close and she could feel his hot breath on her face, the way he was starring at her it made her feel things, things she knew she shouldn't be feeling. He was married. He was married for gods sake. Derek sighed deeply as he looked into her eyes and he asked calmly. "Meredith, what are you doing?"  
"I'm going through some charts." she responded.  
"No." He ran a finger across her cheek lightly. "With Mark I mean."  
"That's none of your business," She turned around her back now to him.  
He sighed defeated. "Just be careful with him." He said turning around ready to walk away.  
"SERIOUSLY!" She yelled. "You're warning me about Mark?" She was facing him again.  
He looked at her shocked by her sudden outburst. "Yes, He has a wa-"  
Meredith put her hand up causing Derek to stop mind sentence. "Seriously." She said again. "You're warning me about Mark, I find it funny that you're warning me about Mark when-when really it should have been the other way around. You- the one with the wife the wife that looks like Isabella freakin' Rossellini!" she shouted. "You don't get to be concerned about me." She huffed as she walked away leaving him standing in the middle of the hospital, many on lookers. Everyone just watching. He just wanted her to know he'd be there. He'd still be there when Mark screwed her over. Because in his heart he knew he would.


	2. An attempt to tip the scales

**Chapter Two: An attempt to tip the scales**

Mark walked onto the elevator after much convincing Meredith dinner would be a nice change for them he finally got her to agree. They never had dinner, they never did much of anything. They did talk though, They had sex too. They had a lot of sex but they did throw in a few talks here and there. Mostly about Addison or Derek. or Addison and Derek. He told her they'd have something simple Chinese food maybe but he wanted to take her out. He was thinking La Dolce Vita, Five star Italian Restaurant. Yeah He could use some really good Italian food. After dinner and expensive wine they would go back to his apartment and have hot steamy and very loud sex above Derek's apartment. Mark grinned at the thought of it. Man Derek would be pretty pissed. But that wasn't the reason he was doing any of this. Some would say there was nothing more to Mark Sloan than a leather Jacket a big ego and a penis, a penis that got around. But He liked to think that Meredith knew him a little more than that.  
A deep voice clearing its throat caused Mark to tear himself away from his daydreaming. He sighed as he watched Derek step onto the elevator. "Derek."  
Derek walked onto the elevator and pushed the button that would take him to his destination ignoring Mark for the third time that day.  
"How long are you going to keep this up?" Mark asked "You can't just keep ignoring me we work together; we live in the same building." He laughed. "You know Derek once upon a time we used to be best friends."  
Derek turned to look at Mark his face red and his jaw clenched. "That was before you decided to sleep with my wife and now you're seducing Meredith."  
"Derek I told you I was sorry. You and Addison were separated at the time and she-"  
"You know what?" Derek cut him off. "It's not even about that." Derek said in a harsh tone.  
Mark nodded understanding setting in. "It's about Meredith." He frowned.  
Derek looked down at the floor and his face softened with the mention of her name "Don't hurt her." He said so low Mark wasn't sure he had said anything at all.  
"What?"  
Derek looked up at Mark anger slowly creeping back in. "I said don't hurt her."  
"You mean like you did?" Mark retorted. The elevator bell dinged telling Mark his stop was next. "Don't worry I don't have any secret wives showing up anytime soon." He said as she stepped off of the elevator and with that he walked down the hall.  


* * *

  
Meredith sat in her parked jeep in the parking lot of Mark's apartment building, replaying over and over in her head her conversation with Izzie. It sounded vaguely familiar.

"Meredith what the hell are you doing?"  
Meredith rolled her eyes and shrugged. "I'm having fun."  
Izzie snorted and shook her head. "Seriously Meredith."  
"What? Why is this such a big deal?"  
"You're having an affair with the best friend of the man you claimed to have loved and you don't think it's a big deal?"  
"It's not an affair."  
"Why are you doing it? Is it just about sex?"  
"No." Meredith replied looking down. "It's not about the sex." She paused. "Not entirely."  
"Then what is it? Are you trying to make Derek jealous?"  
"Derek has a wife." She stated simply.  
"Are you falling for him?" Izzie asked.  
Meredith looked up to meet Izzie's big brown eyes. "Mark? No, no of course not, it's just-you know it's just that he's just so, and I'm just... I'm having a hard time." She stuttered.  
Izzie sighed. "You poor, poor girl."

* * *

  
Meredith knocked lightly and waited for Mark to answer. He opened the door with a smug grin painted on his face. "Hey." He smiled as he snaked his arm around her tiny waist.  
Meredith giggled. "Chinese here yet?" she asked as he planted a kiss on her check.  
"No. Actually I was thinking maybe we could go out for dinner."  
"Seriously?" She asked.  
Mark grinned. "Yes seriously, let me take you out, there is more to Mark Sloan you know other than the mind blowing sex." He teased.  
Meredith laughed as her fingers ran across the buttons on his black button down shirt. "I'm sure there is more to you, but I don't feel like going out tonight." She paused as she unbuttoned the first three buttons of his shirt. She then continued. "We can stay in tonight and we can go out another night."  
Mark let out a laugh. "But I had our entire night planned." He replied teasingly planting a light kiss on her neck. "How about a glass of wine?" He asked.  
She nodded. "Okay."  
Meredith made her way to the couch and sat while she waited for Mark to return with her glass of wine again her mind drifted back to Izzie. What the hell was she doing? Mark made her forget about all the bad things. They had fun together, he called her out on her shit and he challenged her in a way Derek never did. But him and Derek they were so different but something about them was the same. She didn't know exactly what made her feel this way, but she knew it would come to her. It was just something about Mark that drew her to him. Was it his smile? His cocky-confidence? She just didn't know but she was willing to continue whatever it was between them to figure it out.  
Mark sat down next to her on the couch as he handed her the glass of wine. He held up his glass. "Cheers."  
Meredith smiled. "Cheers." And she took a sip. Mark stared at her as he watched her lick her lips. Her lips, all he wanted to do was kiss her, he wanted to taste the wine on her lips, She looked so incredible and he didn't want anything more than to kiss her in that moment. He slid closer to her and slipped the wine glass out of her hand as he planted a kiss on her collarbone. He sat the glasses on the glass table and looked down into her eyes. She smiled and he could feel his insides melt. What was going on with him? She sighed and broke the silence. "If you're going to kiss me I suggest you do it already."  
Mark smirked as he leaned his head forward to break the distance between them. Meredith's hands went straight to his hair as she drew him towards her. Her lips found their way to his ear. While she nibbled on his ear she heard his breath hitch in his throat. In response he trailed his fingers down toward the bottom of her shirt. He slipped his hand under her shirt and grabbed one of her breasts roughly though her black lacy bra. She stopped what she was doing and bit her bottom lip. She reached down between them and found the bulge already forming in his pants. She stroked him painfully slow. He moaned her name and she smiled sinfully at her accomplishment. Meredith's fingers made their way back to his shirt buttons. She unbuttoned the three that were left and forcefully pulled it off of him as they kissed.  
Mark played with the hem of her shirt, she lifted her arms up in the air giving him permission to slide it off of her body. She smiled as Mark raised her leg to his waist she wrapped her arms around his neck, and her other leg around his waist, as he lift her off of the couch. Soft moans escaped her lips as he ran his hands expertly over her body. "Mark." She pleaded. Begging him to hurry. He nodded his head as he began to carry her to his bedroom.  
A knock at the door caused them to break apart reluctantly. Mark groaned. Who the hell could that be? He asked himself. For a second he thought about ignoring it, if it was really important it would be the hospital and they would have paged him. He went back to kiss Meredith when the knock came again. He yelled out in frustration. Meredith laid her head on Mark's shoulder before sliding down his body. "Maybe you should get that." She walked over to the couch and picked her discarded shirt off the floor Mark watched her and rolled his eyes as he went to answer the door.  
Mark swung the door open and threw his face in his hands at the site. He was not happy to see the person standing in the door way He seriously wished he had listened to himself and would have just ignored the knocking.  
"Am I interrupting something?" The person asked as Meredith came into view. Mark sighed and rolled his eyes. "Seriously."


	3. Screaming Infidelities

**Chapter Three: Screaming Infidelities**

The next day Meredith walked into the hospital with her head still buzzing from the night before.

A knock at the door caused her and Mark to break apart reluctantly. Mark groaned. He was about to ignore it and went back to kiss Meredith when the knock came again. He yelled out in frustration. Meredith laid her head on Mark's shoulder before sliding down his body. "Maybe you should get that." She walked over to the couch and picked her discarded shirt off the floor and watched Mark as he went to answer the door.  
"Am I interrupting something?" Addison asked as she caught a glimpse of Meredith.  
Mark threw his head in his hands, He turned to look at Meredith who was beginning to gather her things. "Wait Meredith what are you doing?"  
Addison took Mark's attention from Meredith before she could answer and began to speak. "Actually there's no need for you to leave," She said her eyes on Meredith." I wasn't actually coming to see Mark I'm so used to coming here that I came here by a force of habit, I was actually looking for Derek's apartment, I was dropping these off" She smiled as she held out the divorce papers for Mark to see.  
"Divorce papers?"  
Meredith walked up behind Mark and put her hand on his shoulder. "You're giving him divorce papers?" She asked, the answer completely obvious.  
Addison nodded. "I'm sorry to interrupt; you sure don't waste anytime Grey." She smirked as she turned to walk away.

After that Meredith just wasn't in the mood anymore. She was sure Mark wouldn't be either so she left. She left feeling a little bit empty. Addison was finally going to divorce Derek, that was what she had wanted in the beginning, but now, now she was with Mark and she was happy, or she was beginning to be. Would Derek think that this would be an open invitation? Would he want to pick up where they had left off? What about Addison? Would Mark leave her for Addison? All these thoughts were swimming through her head and she just needed to sleep.

_I'm missing your bed  
I never sleep  
Avoiding the spots where  
we'd have to speak,  
And this bottle of beast  
Is taking me home _

She stepped onto the elevator and Derek looked up from his sidekick as he watched her enter. He didn't say anything, she didn't say anything he just looked and she turned around. She pressed the button that would take her to the surgical floor, it was already highlighted but she felt her self become nervous. She hadn't felt that way in a long time. Derek slowly made his way closer to her and he sniffed the top of her head. God he loved they way she smelled.

_I'm cuddling close  
To blankets and sheets  
But you're not alone,  
and you're not discreet  
Make sure I know who's  
taking you home_

"You're hovering." She finally spoke.  
He stayed silent for a moment and then smiled slightly and replied "I'm breathing you in."  
She turned to look at him, she looked at his eyes and they were glazed over with tears they looked empty, she had only looked at him like that once before; when Addison had arrived to win him back. Derek wore a frown on his face. The smile that he wore seconds before gone. Somehow he looked older, new, wrinkles had formed around his mouth. He went to speak but didn't.  
_  
I'm missing your laugh  
How did it break?  
And when did your eyes begin to look fake?  
I hope you're as happy as you 're pretending_

"You're hovering." She repeated.  
Derek ran the back of his right hand down her left cheek slowly. She closed her eyes and leaned against his hand. He stopped by her lips and started to trace his thumb over her bottom lip. Her eyes fluttered open just in time to see him lean towards her. He entrapped her lips with his own. He kissed her slowly at first. Feeling the softness of her lips and remembered how good it felt to kiss her again. He slowly broke away. "Addison.." He started. "I mean It's over. I signed the divorce papers last night."  
The elevator bell dinged and Meredith turned away. A single tear fell down her check. "I know," she whispered and she walked off ahead off him.  
_  
Your hair, it's everywhere.  
Screaming infidelities  
And taking its wear_.

Derek walked off the elevator behind Meredith. He looked lost and confused not to mention wounded. He sighed as he watched her hurry off.  
"How's it going Shepherd?" Preston Burke asked as he started to walk along side of Derek. Burke bought him out of his stupor. "Oh uh-I'm fine." He replied still looking after Meredith even though she was now long gone.  
Burke sighed. "It gets easier." He said.  
Derek finally looked at him and shook his head. "No. I'm not so sure it will." He said before turning away and starring back down the hall.

* * *

  
"What is it O'Malley?" Mark asked as he looked over his shoulder. George had been starring at him for at least five minutes and it was starting to creep him out a little bit to say the least. George still hadn't said anything. Mark turned to look at him. "What do you want off this case? To much for you to handle? Because I can always pull you off and ask for another intern."  
George shook his head and finally spoke. "No, that's not it, I-just-you-don't hurt Meredith okay?"  
At that moment Mark finally understood why Christina called him Bambi. Even when he was trying to defend Meredith he looked and sounded like a small child. So scared. Mark cocked an eyebrow. "Why does everyone just assume that I'm going to hurt her?" He asked.  
George took a deep breath about to reply, but Mark stopped him. "Look no offense but it's really none of your business what goes on between me and Meredith."  
"That's funny because the entire hospital is talking about you two." Addison chimed in as she stepped into the room.  
George looked between the two of them waiting for Mark to come back with something witty. He laughed. "Can I help you Dr. Montgomery?"  
Addison looked over at George and gave him a look. "Will you excuse us for a second Dr. O'Malley?" She asked. This time she seemed to be a little more professional. George nodded and moved out of the way easily giving Addison access to pull Mark out into the hall with her. She pulled him into a nearby on-call room and shut and locked the door behind them.  
"You got me alone now what do you want?"  
"You left me for her?" She asked her voice sounding bitter.  
Mark chuckled lightly. "If I remember correctly you left me, I woke up one morning to a note on your pillow." He grimaced "Look Addie I'm not sorry If your hurt because I moved on. I wasn't just going to sit around and wait to see if things worked out between you and Shep."  
"You said you loved me."  
"I did. I still do.." He paused.  
"But?" She asked.  
"But, I care about Meredith, and I'm happy the way things are going right now, I want to see where this goes and if things were different.."  
"They aren't."  
"They aren't." He mirrored her words.  
"She must really be something."  
Addison inched her face closer to Marks, she could smell his cologne. It was different. Not the same as he wore in New York. She wanted to hold on to this memory. She wanted to remember being this close to him. She stared at him deeply before pressing a soft kiss to his lips. She moved away slowly "Just don't forget who's in your heart." She then turned to walk out of the room. But he grabbed a hold of her forearm causing her to stop. She turned back to face him and he crushed his lips onto hers temptation taking over him. One for Meredith Grey and One for Addison Montgomery..  


* * *

Meredith laid down after a 14 hour surgery. She stared up at the pale tiled ceiling of the on-call room as she laid in the dark. Derek had kissed her this morning. Derek had kissed her and he wanted her back, she just wasn't sure that was what she wanted anymore. The door slowly opened and a dark figure laid down next to her. When the person finally spoke she realized who it was.  
"I kissed Addison." He said.  
She laid on her side to get a better look at him. She ran her left hand along his neatly bearded face and kissed his chin lightly before replying to him. "I kissed Derek." She sighed sadly. "And I had a fight with George."  
He turned his face to look at her and ran his arm lightly down her body. "I don't want to ruin this, whatever we are." He said softly. "I like where this might be going." She felt a smile form under her hand causing her to break a smile of her own.  
"So what does this mean?" She asked  
"I'm hoping it means that we'll take a stab at this. Just me and you. No Derek, No Addison."  
"Just us." She finished.  
"Just us."  


* * *

  
George sat at the Emerald City Bar across the street from Seattle Grace Hospital. His head was hung low and he had barely spoken a word. The only time he said anything was when He had to order his Pina colada from Joe. He ordered that particular drink because he said it had something to do with the escapism. He said he wanted to imagine being on a tropical island with a bunch of pretty women. Joe could tell it had been a bad day. All He wanted was for Meredith to look at him. Really look at him. Why hadn't she seen that he loved her? That he would do anything for her?  
"I know I'm not a world renowned surgeon and I know I'm not a lot of things you've gone for in the past. But I would never leave you, I would never hurt you, and I will never stop loving you. And-And if Mark leaves you. I'm going to be here...waiting."  
He let the words replay over and over and over in his head. He sighed and motioned for Joe. When Joe reached him all he said was  
"Tequila." At that same moment Derek stood in front of the large colonial house and he went over his speech in his head.  
You have a choice to make. And I don't want to rush you into making the decision before you're ready. This morning I was going to tell you that I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you for, ever. I'm a little late, I know I'm a little late in telling you this. I just want you to take your time, you know. Take all the time you need, because you have a choice to make. And when I had a choice to make, I chose wrong.  
His speech, his feelings they'd win her over. She'd fall into his arms and they'd make up for lost time. And Mark would be out of the picture. He signed the divorce papers it was just the beginning, they could start all over. They could be Derek and Meredith. Again.  
He rang the doorbell and watched as Izzie came to answer. She smiled. "Uh Hi Dr. Shepherd."  
He stared at her blankly as he rubbed the back of his Neck. "Is uh-is Meredith here?"  
Izzie frowned and shook her head sympathetically. "No I think she had a date with Mark." She sighed sadly. "I'm so sorry Dr. Shepherd." She called out as he walked hurriedly to his car

* * *

  
Meredith moaned breathlessly in Marks ear and he quickly undid and pulled down his jeans and boxers at the same time. Meredith jumped a little to wrap her legs around his waist and he pushed Meredith up against the front door in his living room brusquely. He attacked her mouth with his own, their kisses growing hungry and full of lust. Without warning he drove into her and entered her completely. Meredith moaned into his mouth.

Derek walked up the stairs of his apartment building not wanting to take the elevator thinking he'd avoid another awkward meeting. He stopped at the third floor and walked through the hallway and stopped at Mark's door. He raised his hand to knock but quickly decided against it. What was he doing? He wanted to tell Meredith that he still loved her but now wasn't the time and not in front of Mark. When he did finally declare his feelings for her they would be alone, no interruptions and besides It all would have been to weird. Him showing up at Mark's door. Before he turned to walk away her heard Meredith moan Mark's name. And that's all he needed. His Meredith wasn't his anymore. And now he finally realized that. But that didn't mean he was giving up. It just meant he had to fight like hell to make her realize they belonged together.


	4. One Night Is Not Enough

**Chapter Four: One Night Is Not Enough**

Mark couldn't help but smile at the site of Meredith's sleeping figure. Her golden brown hair fell across the pillow and the sunlight hit her face and he could swear her face wore a smile. She couldn't have looked more beautiful than she did at that exact moment. She stirred in her sleep and opened her eyes. Her smile widened as he laced his fingers with hers.  
"Good morning."  
"Your watching me sleep?" She asked rubbing her eyes.  
"You're cute when you sleep. What can I say?" He smiled.  
"What time is it?" she asked. She turned to look at the night stand where the clock laid. "You're up before the alarm. Why are you up before the alarm?"  
He kissed her forehead. "I'm a light sleeper."  
Meredith wrinkled her forehead. "So something woke you up?"  
"It's no big deal. It's just that you snore a little."  
"What? " She laughed punching him lightly on the arm. "I do not!"  
"Yes, you do." He laughed back. "But I love it. I find it charming that such a big noise can come from such a little person."  
Meredith couldn't help but keep smiling. She felt so safe and she could swear this was what happiness felt like. Not that she couldn't remember it, but she just wasn't sure if after Derek she could be happy again. Now she was sure. She was positive. It didn't matter anymore that Derek had signed the divorce papers. What mattered now was that She was happy, she was with Mark who seemed to care for her and maybe one day she could love him, maybe one day he could possibly love her as well. Without another thought she bought her arms around his neck and kissed him softly. "What's for breakfast?" she asked.

Mark smiled to himself as he watched Meredith walk into the room after her shower. She and Mark were staying in, she had on his white t-shirt and pair of his boxers, she was swimming in them. She found him stretched out on the bed, clad in just a pair of gray sweat pants. Her mouth went dry, and she joined him on the bed and he took her into his arms and kissed her passionately, their kisses became longer and intense. He couldn't stop touching her, she ran her hands down his well-muscled chest, she stopped at the waistband of his sweat pants as they stopped for breath, and Mark looked into her eyes. He kissed her again and slid his hand up shirt, with one quick movement he removed her top and she fell on top of him.  
"You're porny." She laughed.  
Mark laughed along with her, "Porny?" He asked.  
Meredith nodded. "Yes, you think after last night you'd be all tired out." She put her hand to her mouth as she giggled.  
His hands traveled down the sides of her body and he began to tickle her. She screamed out in laughter as he rolled on top of her. Between her laughs she managed to ask him to stop. This was fun he thought to himself. Being with Meredith it was fun and the most non-safe relationship. She could leave him any second for Derek. All he had to do was say the right thing and that would be it. He found himself hoping this worked out.  
A knock on the door caused them to break apart. Meredith laughed as Mark rolled off of her. "What is it? Do they sense that you're here?" He asked disbelievingly. Every time he was alone with Meredith someone just so happened to interrupt them. It was getting annoying. He opened the door and  
was shocked. But happy to say the least.  
He wrapped his arms around the young girl standing in front of him. "Chase!" He said her name with excitement. Meredith walked out into the hall to see who was visiting.  
"come in." Mark ushered. The girl blushed and slowly made her way in.  
"I haven't seen you in…"  
"Two years." She finished.  
Mark nodded. "Wow. It's been that long?" He asked.  
She smiled. "Just about."  
"It seemed like you just disappeared into thin air."  
She put her head down and then looked back up at him. "I just got finished visiting with Derek." She said. Mark sighed. "Mark what's been going on? You and my brother used to be such great friends. You slept with Addison? What were you thinking?"  
Mark drew in a deep breath. "I was in love with her." He said simply.  
"Are you still?" she asked as she sat herself down.  
"No." He shook his head looking towards his bedroom. "Actually I have a new girlfriend."  
Chase rolled her eyes. "So I've heard." She paused. "The slutty intern,"  
"You've been talking to Addison."  
Chase smiled and sighed. "Look I don't want to talk to you about Derek or Addison or what you did, I just thought it was time I come see everyone."  
"Ouch! Damn it!" Meredith screeched. She accidentally hit her bare toe as she tried to sneak back into Mark's room. This was obviously a private conversation.  
Mark turned in the direction of the hallway and smacked himself mentally. He had forgotten all about Meredith. "Oh shit. Mer!" He called out. Chase jumped up. "You have company?" She asked. Mark came back into the living room with Meredith limping beside him. She waved "Hi, we haven't met. Not officially anyway I'm the slutty intern," She smiled thinking it would be a way to break the ice.  
Chase drew in a breath of shock. "I can't do this right now." She said her face turning red "I'll uh I'll see you around Mark." She said as she ran out the door.  
Meredith looked at Mark a frown on her face. "I'm so sorry." She apologized.  
"For what?"  
"I scared her off. I'm sorry I didn't mean to, I thought the whole slutty intern thing was a little funny." She laughed. "Anyway I'm sorry."  
"Stop being sorry." He told her as sat them down on the couch. He put her leg on his lap and ran his hand over her leg. "Now what'd you hit?"  
"My toe. The little one." She frowned.  
Mark winced. "Ow that must have hurt."  
Meredith nodded. "It did."  
Mark smiled gently as he leaned forward. "On a scale of one to ten how bad is it?"  
Meredith thought for a second. Her toe still stinging. "Seven."  
He kissed her softly. "How about now?"  
"Six." He kissed her again positioning himself on top of her. She cupped his face in her hands and he asked her again between their heated kisses. "How about now?"  
"Five, four, three..."


	5. Nothing Left To Say But Goodbye

**Chapter Five: Nothing Left To Say But Goodbye**

Meredith sighed happily as she walked into her dark house. She threw her coat on the couch not noticing Izzie laying quietly.  
"Wha-Hey! Meredith!" Izzie screeched.  
Meredith walked around the sofa. "Izzie? What are you doing sitting in the dark? " She asked as she turned on the living room light.  
Izzie folded her arms over her chest. "Being miserable." She frowned as her eyes began to water. Meredith sat down next to her friend on the couch and put a comforting arm around her. "Iz what's wrong?" She asked.  
Izzie stared at her for a second contemplating whether or not to answer her. "Alex broke up with me."  
Meredith's eyes widened in shock. "Evil spawn?- I mean Karev?" She asked biting back laughter. This wasn't a laughing matter it's just Izzie was to good for Alex and everyone knew it, that had to be the reason he broke up with her.  
Izzie nodded.  
"Seriously?"  
Izzie drew in a deep breath. "Yes GOSH! Alex. He broke up with me." She yelled angrily as she threw her hands up in the air. "Why the hell are you smiling?"  
"What?" Meredith asked. "I'm not smiling. I'm smiling?"  
"Your smiling."  
Meredith put her hand up to her mouth. She didn't mean to smile. "I'm not smiling because you got dumped Izzie."  
Izzie rolled her eyes.  
"I'm just. Happy. I guess."  
"Meredith Grey. Happy?"  
"Yes. I feel all bright. Bright and Shiny."  
Izzie looked at her friend in disgust. "Ew. I'm not bright and Shiny! Meredith I Wanna be bright and shiny damn it!"  
Meredith laughed. "Okay, how bout a drink at Joe's We'll make you alll bright and shiny."  
"Seriously?"  
"Well we can try." They both laughed.  
"Seriously let's go have a drink take your mind off things."

As Meredith and Izzie walked into The Emerald City bar a pair of eyes followed them as they seated themselves at the counter. Izzie ordered a screw driver and Meredith ordered her usual 6 shots of tequila. The girls laughed drank, joked and drank some more.  
Meredith excused herself to go to the bathroom and Izzie sat alone at the bar trying to clear her head which was hard because she could feel herself becoming drunk. She sighed and she looked around the bar. She noticed a lot of people from the hospital some of her fellow interns, a few attending's, and then her eyes locked on Alex. She hadn't noticed him come in. She would have remembered if he were there when she and Meredith had arrived. She took another sip of her drink and she became mad all over again. A tall blonde guy sat in Meredith's seat at the bar and attempted to talk to her.  
"Buy you a drink?" He asked.  
Izzie looked at him and rolled her eyes and took another sip of her drink.  
"What's your name pretty?" He tried again.  
Izzie shook her head and smiled through gritted teeth as she turned back to the guy. He extended his hand to her. "I'm Hank."  
She rolled her eyes again "Okay seriously guy in need of a clue. Here's one. Women send signals. That was a brush off. Before you dip into your shallow pool of wit, let me paint us a picture and save us both the trouble. Here's your evening. You are going to slink back off to your buddies, laugh this off, get wasted, go home, and make nice with yourself. But don't be thinking of me, because even your fantasy of me isn't interested in you." She yelled harshly. Yeah she was drunk.  
Alex turned to see what was going on. When the guy grabbed a hold of Izzie's wrist something inside of him snapped. "Hey let go of her!"  
Izzie snorted. "Oh now you care?" She yelled  
"Izzie don't do this. Not here."  
"You know what Alex?" She yelled as she threw her hands up in the air. "Screw you!"  
Izzie walked out of the bar and before running behind her Alex motioned to Joe to make sure Meredith got home safely.  
Meredith returned from the bathroom moments later. "Where's Iz?" She asked.  
"She was pretty drunk." Joe started.  
"Is she okay?" Meredith interrupted.  
Joe nodded she's fine. "Alex made sure she got home okay."  
Meredith's forehead wrinkled. "Alex?"  
"Yeah some guy tried to get rough with her but Alex took care of it." He assured.  
Meredith nodded. "One more shot and then I'm out of here." Meredith put her money on the table and Joe supplied her with her shot.  
"Double scotch, single malt please." Derek held out his glass ready for Joe to refill it. He looked over at Meredith. "Hi." He smiled.  
She smiled back. And motioned to Joe again. "One more."  
Joe smiled and gladly refilled her shot glass.  
"Are you ignoring me?" Derek asked as he sat down next to her.  
"Trying to." She replied as she tilted her head back and downed her shot.  
Derek sighed. "Can we start over?" He asked. "Be friends?"  
Meredith snorted. "We can't be friends."  
"What? Why not? He asked confusingly. "I'm a good friend."  
Meredith shook her head. "I'm dating your best friend."  
"So…"  
"So..you hate him." She stated. It was a fact. Derek did hate Mark.  
"I don't-"  
He began. Meredith cocked an eyebrow daring him to finish his sentence. "If we were friends I would gladly put up with him for you." He smiled.  
She smiled back. "Fine then." She extended her hand. "Friends."  
Derek sighed in relief. "Friends."  
After a few more drinks Meredith was more than a little drunk she giggled infectiously. It made Derek's heart jump. He loved to hear her laugh and to be the one making that beautiful sound come out of her. It pleased him more than anything. He paid his tab to Joe and being the gentleman he was he wanted to make sure Meredith made it home safely.  
At the door he dug through her pocketbook for her keys. She could barely stand and the feeling of her legs giving out underneath her made her giggle even more. He opened the door and swooped her up into his arms and her hands made their way sleepily around his neck as he carried her up the stairs to her bedroom. It had been so long since he had been in the house. In her room. All the memories came flooding back to him. It made him a little sad that now Mark would have it all with her. But not if he could help it. It wasn't like they were in love. They were just dating. If they even called it that.  
He laid her down on her bed and took her shoes off of her feet. He kneeled down on the side of the bed and pushed her hair our of her face tenderly. Her face was still she was calmer now, her case of giggles gone. She looked so beautiful, laying peacefully with her eyes closed. One could easily mistake it for sleeping.. He sighed sadly wishing he could crawl into bed with her. "I love you." he whispered pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.  
"Mmm ." Her eyes fluttered open trying to adjust to the dark room. He moved his face down to her lips ready to kiss her and her arms flew around his neck. "I love you too Mark." She replied sleepily.  
Derek put his head down his eyes beginning to water. He unwrapped her arms from around his neck and put her under the bedcovers. Tonight he walked out of Meredith Grey's room, House and life unhappy and defeated. The woman he loved , loved someone else now. He sat in his car parked in her driveway, his emotions getting the best of him. He held his face in his hands and cried. The moment She said she loved Mark. His Meredith said she loved someone else. He could feel his heart shatter. It hurt like hell and he knew there was nothing else left to say. He started the ignition and slowly backed out into the street as he took one last look of the big colonial house in front of him.


	6. Everyone Has a Secret

**Chapter Six: Everyone Has a Secret.**

Mark leaned against the wall in the back of the elevator that was going to take him to the bottom floor of his apartment building. He closed his eyes briefly still adjusting to being awake so early in the morning. The elevator bell dinged and Derek stepped on. Why was it that every time they had to deal with each other it was due to the closed space of an elevator be it the one if the one in the apartment building or the one at the hospital. In that moment Mark was more than pleased Derek was still ignoring him. Derek cleared his throat he had been up almost all night thinking about what Meredith had blurted out in her drunken slumber. "I love you to Mark." He shook his head as if that were going to rip the image away. He stared Mark down god he wanted to punch him in the face. Derek felt that today was going to be bad. One thing he did look forward to was his little sister's visit. Chase promised to visit with him at the hospital today and she was bringing a very big surprise along with her. That had Derek beyond excited. The bell dinged and both men stepped off. They exited the building and went their separate ways. Only to meet up again at the hospital.

Meredith sat in the locker room with her head on Izzie's shoulder while she informed Meredith what happened the night before. Alex admitted to her the reason he broke up with her was because he cheated and he knew she deserved better so in a way he was being a good guy by just breaking it off with her before things got worse. Izzie rolled her eyes "He cheated on me. He seriously cheated on me!" she whined. Meredith took a deep breath and sat up as she held her head. The after affects of all the alcohol she consumed the night before was definitely not gone yet. She wanted to puke and listening to Izzie rant made her stomach turn, but the flashbacks she was having. really made her sick. Her and Derek. Derek telling her he loved her. She couldn't remember anything after that. She was sure they didn't have sex. She was fully clothed when she woke up., she remembered them agreeing to be friends which she was happy about. Friends was good, Maybe he was saying he loved her as a friend? They'd have to talk about that. Maybe she could even hatch a plan for Derek and Mark to become friends again if that was at all possible. She stood up as Bailey entered and informed them to follow her. Today was going to be a long day.

Addison smiled as she walked into the kitchen to find Chase and the small child sitting at the kitchen table. Chase laughed. "She's hell bent on feeding herself." She watched as her daughter Aliany put the small Minnie mouse spoon to her mouth. Addison giggled. "she's adorable Chase."  
Chase nodded. ""Thank you." she smiled.  
"I still can't believe that you're a mom."  
Chase blushed. "Yeah and getting married."  
Addison smiled widely "Ah yes! Please tell me about this Finn Dandridge. Why didn't he come with you?"  
"He's a vet. He was married before but his wife died. He's handsome and sweet and he loves Aliany." she smiled just thinking about him. "And he didn't come because I asked him not to." she replied to Addison's earlier question about her fiancé as she got up from the table to put the dishes in the sink. She turned from the sink to look at Addison sadly and sighed. "I want her to have a father, she deserves that."  
"Well what about her real father?" Addison asked. "I don't mean to pry it's just"  
Chase sighed heavily as she sat back down at the table and smoothed out her daughter's sandy blonde hair. "I never told him I was pregnant. He was older and he had his life all figured out and at the time I was only 19. I left because I was scared and ashamed. All I could think about was what Derek would do."  
Addison took Chase's hand in her own. "Derek would have been there for you. I would have bee there for you. You're his baby sister."  
Chase wiped the tears that were beginning to spring from her eyes and sniffled. "Things will be okay though Derek is going to meet his niece and then tomorrow morning I'm on a plane back to North Carolina."  
"You could stay you know. I have the room, you could stay a little while you and Derek can spend time together, he could spend time with Aliany. You-"  
Chase shook her head silently. "I can't stay. I have Finn to go home to and this isn't my home."  
Addison nodded in understanding as she stood to her feet. "I guess we should get going then huh." Chase nodded as she grabbed Aliany out of the chair she was sitting in, she grabbed their coats and they were on their way to the hospital.

"You paged me?" Meredith asked Mark as she entered his office.  
He smirked mischievously as he closed the door behind her. He snaked his arms around her body and pulled her closer. "I missed you when you left last night."  
Meredith laughed. "Did you."  
He nodded. "I did. My bed feels lonely without you in it." He paused. "And so does my apartment."  
Meredith's smiled widened. "I have to go." she said kissing him gently before pushing him away. "Oh you're not getting away that easily." He pulled her a little closer and licked her bottom lip asking for entrance to her mouth, which she gladly granted. She quickly removed her light blue scrub shirt and helped him with his. Meredith untied his pants and slowly pulled them to his feet. She smiled at him and kissed his lips. She bit down on his lower lip as her hands wandered. When they were both in their underwear, Meredith hopped on the desk behind her and spread her legs for Mark to get in between them. Once there Meredith wrapped her legs around him and grinned against him. The shrilling sound of Meredith's pager going off startled them apart. They groaned in unison as she hopped off the desk to check her pager. She sighed looking at it. "I have to go." She pulled her scrubs back on and kissed him softly before hurriedly exiting his office. Mark sat down in his chair and rubbed his face. He sighed and decided he needed to busy himself. As he got up someone knocked softly before entering.  
"Mark?" Chase called out.  
He looked to the door and stood in his place. "So we meet again." He joked. Her eyes flew to the floor. "I'm sorry about the other day, I just-she-I didn't know,"  
He nodded .  
"Look" she said as she looked up at him. "I-I'm getting married."  
He nodded again. "I noticed the rock." He laughed as he took her hand to take a closer look. She snatched her hand back and looked at the floor once again. "This is. This is really hard for me Mark. Being here and seeing you and I-" Panic began to fill her voice and she looked backup at him. "She swallowed hard and closed the door behind her. "We need to talk."  
Mark stared at her confused and concern beginning to take over. He sat on the desk behind him. She pulled a packet of papers out of her purse and handed them to him. "I need you to sign these."  
"What is it?" He asked as he took the documents from her.  
"It's a petition for you to give up your parental rights."  
Mark's eyes flew up from the papers to Chase's tear stained face. "What!?"


	7. The Best Deceptions

**Chapter Seven: The Best Deceptions**

Chase kept her eyes on floor she shut her eyes tightly and wondered if she wished hard enough if she could disappear.  
"What the hell are you talking about? Parental what!?" Mark asked in disbelief., shock and anger wringing through his voice.  
Chase's head shot up. "I'm sorry I never told you. It's just- I.-"  
"Told me what exactly?" Mark asked dumbly as he stood up. He rubbed his hands over his face as he tried to think of any explanation other than the obvious, which was well…there were no other explanations.  
Chase sighed heavily. "I'm sorry. I just I didn't come to cause trouble I just need you to sign the papers." She wiped her face. As her tears were beginning to blind her vision. "Please just sign them ." She begged. "No one will ever know just sign them."  
Mark paced in his office. He just needed to move his legs. He needed to do something.  
"I have a kid?" He asked. He threw himself in his chair and buried his face in his hands. "You never said anything. You never told me. Were you ever going to tell me? If you-Were you ever going to tell me?"  
Chase walked closer and handed him a pen. "I was 19. You were a lot older, Derek's best friend. He would have killed you, and I." She cut her sentence short. "Mark just sign the papers. Please I don't want anything from you I just need you to do this."  
Mark stared up at her and took the pen from her hands. He laid the documents out on the desk and looked them over. He took a deep breath. Why does this feel so wrong? He asked himself. He put the pen up to the paper and begin to sign his name. He stopped and then looked up at Chase.. He pushed all the thoughts and questions that were running through his head out and handed her the papers when he finished.  
She thanked him and began to walk out. He cleared his throat and called out her name softly causing her to turn and face him.  
"Can I see the kid at least? "  
"No." She replied firmly.  
Mark got up from his chair and grabbed ahold of her arm. "Come on I don't see you in almost three years you come back and tell me I have a kid and you won't even let me see it? I did you a favor now do one for me." He said his voice dripping with venom. "I just want to see it. .."  
"Her name is Aliany and here." Chase pulled a tiny picture out of her wallet. Aliany was sitting in a red sleigh with a white background. There was cotton as fake snow on the ground. He noted the sandy blonde hair that covered her head and the small curls that fell around her face and her pale blue eyes and porcelain skin. "She looks like me." He breath out.  
Chase nodded. "She has your peanut allergy too."  
Mark went to give her back the picture. She shook her head. "No you keep it." She smiled weakly. She turned to walk away again but stopped and stared back at Mark over her shoulder.  
"I'm sorry." She said again and closed the door behind her.  
Once she was gone Mark went back to his desk and tried to steady his breathing. He looked back down at the picture and tears sprang from his eyes. He had a daughter and he had just given her up. He hadn't even asked why. He hadn't known about her before just then but he felt as if the world had come crashing down on his head. He felt like a terrible person. He just wanted to crawl back into his apartment and lay in bed for days. He had a daughter and she looked like him. The picture was a Christmas picture so it was taken only a few months ago. He had a daughter that would never call him daddy and he probably would never see her. That picture. That picture was all he had. He had just given her away and had no idea why and he still couldn't even wrap his head around the fact that he had a daughter. Derek's baby sister was the mother of the child he would never get to know. He placed his face in his hands and let himself cry. Cry for all the What If's

Addison watched with her arms folded across her chest as Derek interacted with his niece. His smile seemed brighter and his eyes lit up. He clapped his hands with Aliany as he was sure she was trying to teach him patty cake.  
"She's not a shy one" Addison laughed.  
"Well She's a Shepard. Of course she isn't." Derek smiled happiness oozing from his voice.  
Addison nodded. "So are we talking now?" she asked as she knelt down in front of Derek and Aliany. Derek nodded and sighed. "Thank you for letting Chase and Aliany stay with you."  
Addison smiled. "Derek they're family. We might be divorced but they're still my family. Nancy, Kathleen and Jenna too."  
Derek smiled at her. A real smile. A Mc Dreamy smile. "Yeah."  
Chase walked up behind Derek and Aliany squealed. "Mama!"  
Chase smiled softly as the small child ran into her arms. She smoothed out her curls and kissed the top of her head. "Hey baby."  
Derek and Addison both stood.  
"Where'd you disappear to?" Derek asked.  
"Oh no where. I went to the bathroom and then I called Finn. I miss him." She said sadly.  
"Have you been crying?" Addison asked.  
Chase knew she had to look like hell getting Mark to the papers had gone easier than she thought but she still felt so guilty and sad about the entire situation. She was lying to everyone. Her brother thought her fiancé was Aliany's father and her Fiancé thought Aliany's father was dead. Addison knew the truth. Not the entire truth but she knew enough. And Mark. Mark finally knew and she wasn't sure what he felt.  
"I'm fine. Don't worry." She turned her attention back to Aliany. "Did you have fun with Uncle Derek ?" She asked  
Aliany smiled as she clung to her mother as she looked up at her uncle. Derek smiled and ruffled her hair. He kissed the top of her head and then kissed the top of his sister's head. He sighed and looked at her sideways. "So when do I get to meet my brother in law? I'm assuming my beautiful niece looks like him because she looks nothing like you." He teased.  
Chase smiled weakly. Guilt washing over her body. "Uh you'll get to meet him soon. I promise, but not this trip."  
Derek smiled. "He's treating you well right?"  
Chase rolled her eyes "Of course he is."  
Derek sighed. "Okay just don't try to go all MIA again. I want a call from you as soon as your plane lands." He ordered.  
Chase nodded.  
"I'll see you later then. We'll talk tonight. You can give me all your information and everything. And in the morning I'll come by Addison's to pick you up and We'll all drive to the airport."  
Chase nodded again.  
"Okay?"  
"Okay." She smiled as she watched her brother walk away,

The elevator bell dinged and Derek stepped on. He stared blankly at Meredith as he got on and then turned around. He hadn't even acknowledge her. She stood on the side of him and looked over his face. When he got on he looked a little happy. But now. Now he was frowning,  
"Um. Hi."" She said weakly.  
Derek looked down at Meredith and scowled. "Oh Hi." he replied.  
"So last night we got drunk." She laughed thinking about it.  
"No! You got drunk." He said as he stared in front of him.  
Meredith began to fidget with the bottom of her scrub shirt. "Oh." She said.  
"Yeah."  
Meredith's forehead wrinkled in confusion. "Did I do something wrong because I thought we were friends. Or was I dreaming? Because I thought you wanted to be friends." She rambled.  
Derek sighed. "I don't want to be friends'" He stated. He knew he sounded harsh but He was still hurting. It wasn't that he didn't want to be friends. He just couldn't.  
Meredith bit her bottom lip as it began to tremble. "I uh.." she paused looking for some words. Any words. "Oh." was what she managed to squeak out.  
Derek's floor was up and before he walked off he turned to her. He opened his mouth to say something but instead shook his head. What was there for him to say?

Meredith knocked lightly on Mark's apartment door and she stood in a black cocktail dress and her hair curled loosely around her face. She smiled widely as he opened the door clad in a black suit and a black button down shirt. As soon as he opened the door the aroma's of the apartment filled her nose. Mark wrapped her in his arms and lead her into the apartment.  
"I thought we were going out." She said as he seated her at the dining room table. He smiled as he walked over to his side. "I thought I'd cook something for you. I wanted to do something nice."  
Meredith smiled and her eyes twinkled as she did so. She felt good. Being with Mark it felt really good.  
"You look beautiful." He finally said,  
Meredith smiled as she bought her fork to her mouth. "Thank you. You don't look bad yourself."  
Mark chuckled breathlessly. "Uh so how's the food?"" He asked.  
Meredith moaned as the flavors tingled her tongue. "I had no idea you were such a good cook."  
Mark nodded satisfyingly. "There's a lot about me you don't know." He said as he put his head down and focused on his plate. He pushed his food around as a million thoughts ran through his head. He was still upset about Chase and what happened earlier that day. But he wanted to keep things good between him and Meredith. He wasn't sure if he should tell her or not. And to explain everything so she didn't think he was a complete prick about his and Chase's relationship. He loved spending time with Meredith and the original plan for the night was to spoil her and ask her to move in. He had cooked to show her that he could cook her a home-cooked meal whenever she wanted, she knew his sleeping habits and he knew hers. The slight snoring he could put up with. He thought it was cute and it made him love her even more. He had hoped He had sort of warmed her up to even just thinking about it earlier when he mentioned his apartment felt empty with out here there. But then her wondered if they were ready for that. That hadn't been together long but he found himself thinking about her every minute of everyday. He felt whole when she was near him. She was different. They were good together. He sighed heavily Meredith's soft voice breaking him from his thoughts.  
Mark looked up and smiled at her. He got up from his seat and walked over to where Meredith sat. He lift her up out of her chair and carried her to his room. He laid her down gently, he trailed kisses softly on her shoulders and collarbone. And he slowly removed her dress. He kissed her stomach and looked up at her. He positioned himself on top of her he noticed her eyes were beginning to get wet and he wiped her tears away. She was smiling just a few seconds ago. What had he done wrong? Did she feel like he was taken advantage of her? At the moment Meredith realized why Derek was so upset with her. She remembered him telling her he loved her. She said she loved him to only she wasn't saying it to him. She dreamed of Mark's face.  
"What's wrong?" Mark asked,  
"Nothing." She lied. Just that I love you. "Keep going."  
He kissed her softly on the lips and he wrapped his arms around her as she wrapped her legs around his waist. They're breathing became heavy and Meredith rolled on top of him. She lightly touched his face as shut her eyes tightly. It was now or never. She should just get it over with. And if he got freaked out then obviously he wasn't the one. He went to pull her back down to capture her mouth but she protested. "Mark."  
"Hmm?" Meredith got off of him and sat down on the bed. Mark turned on the lamp bathing the room in light.  
They stared at each other in silence for a few moments before Mark cleared his throat. Meredith went to speak but Mark stopped her. "Wait. I- Okay I want to ask you something." He started. "I was going to ask you earlier tonight but you looked so beautiful sitting there all sexy and I know it's soon. really soon but Mer I think we're ready."  
Meredith's eyes widened. "Ready for what?" She asked.  
"Move in with me and if you don't want to that's cool I just like having you here, and I like falling asleep with you in my arms and waking up to you in the morning I-"  
She listened to him and her heart fluttered. She couldn't believe this was Mark Sloan sitting in front of her,  
"I love you." She blurted. Her hands flew to her mouth. "I- I..I don't expect you to say it back." She quickly said after. "I.."  
Mark rubbed the side of her face and lured the panic away. "I love you too."  
He smiled at her.  
"This is fast."  
He nodded. "It is."  
"You're not freaked out?"  
Yeah." He chuckled. "Really freaked out."  
Meredith laughed softly. "Good. Me too."  
Mark kissed her passionately. He poured everything into the kiss. He was silently telling her he was sorry. He was sorry for the stupid things he did in his past and he was sorry for all the stupid things he'd do in the future. He wanted her. He knew he wanted her around. He also knew He didn't want to do anything to hurt her.


	8. Everything Will Be

**Chapter Eight: Everything Will Be**

"You're what!?" Christina exclaimed. "You're shacking up with Mc Steamy? Have you gone completely mental?"  
Izzie rolled her eyes at Christina and turned her attention back to Meredith. "I actually think it's sweet."  
"You would Barbie." Christina sneered. "What the hell are you thinking?" She asked.  
Meredith shook her head as she pulled her Dartmouth shirt over her head. "He asked. I said yes."  
"You don't think it's a little fast?" Christina asked.  
Meredith looked at Christina and smiled. "It's fast." She said walking past her and down the stairs. Christina and Izzie ran behind her.  
"So I mean what are me and George supposed to do. Are we moving out?" Izzie asked panic slowly beginning to creep into her voice.  
Meredith shook her head. "No, you and George can stay,"  
"How the hell does that work? Them staying in you house. Like without you?"  
Meredith laughed. Izzie, Christina, and the five billion question game. She sighed. "Okay. " She started turning around from the refrigerator to face them. "We'll do a 60 day trail and if things don't work out with me and Mark then I'll come home. If not you, guys can look for a new roommate but he or she has to be run by me first. I would be like your landlord. But unofficially and." She said looking straight to Christina "It's my mother's house."  
"Seriously Meredith! Moving in?" Christina asked again.  
"Yes seriously. Why are you making such a big deal about this?"  
Christina laughed. "You don't think this is a big deal?"  
"Yes I do but if I remember correctly you 'shacked up' with Burke after only 3 months, so I don't know why you're making a big deal about this. He asked I said yes and I'm moving in."  
Christina snorted and rolled her eyes. "So I guess I'm your person?" She said it as a statement less than a question referring to helping Meredith move in.  
Meredith smiled as she poured herself a glass of orange juice. "Yes you're my person."

"No it's fine! I don't mind watching her." Addison said as she lift the tiny girl up in the air. "Go ahead. You and Derek have fun. Spend sometime together. It'll be good for you both." She smiled.  
Chase nodded. "Yeah, yeah I guess." She replied flatly.  
Addison put Aliany down on the living room floor and she began to play with her toys as Addison made her way over to the sofa where Chase sat. She sat down beside her. Addison sighed not knowing exactly how to approach the topic without it seeming like she was prying into Chase's personal business.  
"Uh Chase?"  
"Yeah?" She asked as she fidgeted with engagement ring.  
"What exactly did you tell Derek about Aliany's father-I mean today he-I." She sighed. She could not find her words and she felt ridiculous for asking it was not any of her business. "You know what? Never mind. I'm sorry for even trying to ask."  
Chase shook her head. "I had hoped you weren't paying attention." She said quietly. She looked up at Addison and tears began to fall from her eyes. "He thinks Finn is Aliany's father. Which I mean he is in every sense you know?"  
"Why did you lie to him? Why not just tell him the truth?"  
She wiped her eyes and sighed sadly and she sniffled. "I don't know. I just..I lied and said that I met Finn in New York while he was visiting family and when I left that I went to see him and right after I arrived I got pregnant with Aliany. I told him-" She began to cry harder. "I told him that I went to visit him and I just ended up staying, which was a complete lie. It's just that Derek. I'm his baby sister and a brother has a certain image of how a sister is supposed to act."  
Addison nodded. "Even so Chase, he still loves you."  
She nodded. "I know! It's just I couldn't stop myself. I guess I told him Finn was her father because he is. He was there for my entire pregnancy, the day she was born, and for her first birthday. She calls him 'daddy''"  
Addison stared at her intently. "I understand all of that, but from what you've told me. You didn't even give her real father that chance."  
Chase went to reply when a knock at the door interrupted them. Derek had arrived to pick Chase up for dinner. Addison got up to answer the door and Chase got up behind her. She quickly kissed Aliany on the top of the head and said "Be good for Aunt Addie." before walking out with Derek.

Addison smiled as she added the final ingredient to the batter. She took her finger and ran in across the inside of the bowl and stuck it in her mouth. "Mmm that taste good." She took a spoon and spooned out a little bit of batter for Aliany to taste. Addison was making her infamous Peanut butter cookies for Chase to take on the plane ride back to North Carolina, She loved them when she was younger and thought it's be nice to surprise her with a treat. Aliany licked the spoon and her eyes widened. She obviously liked the taste on her taste buds. Addison smiled watching her and turned to put the first tray of cookies in the oven. Addison heard the metal spoon drop to the floor and turned to pick it up. She looked up at Aliany and her lips became blue and her face became pale and she began to gasp for air, she went to fall backward but Addison caught a hold of her. She began to tremble in Addison's arms and panic began to take over her as she laid her on the cold linoleum of the floor. She ran to the phone and made the 911 call as she franticly searched her hall closet for the 'doctor bag' she kept around in case of an emergency. When she found it, she went through its contents and pulled out her stethoscope. She ran back to Aliany who was still gasping for her life on the kitchen floor, her gasps became shorter and quieter as Addison tried to listen closely. Her gasp turned silent as Addison rocked her as her body became limp and lifeless. She needed a shot of epinephrine and all she could do was wait until the paramedics showed up. And waiting….God waiting was the worst.  
Chase ran through the doors of Seattle Grace hospital right into the Emergency room.  
"Addison!" She screamed "Addison!"  
Addison ran out of Aliany's small room and Chase fell into her arms. "Wha-What happened? Where is my daughter" She sobbed  
Addison shook her head. "I'm so sorry I didn't know-You didn't tell me that she had a nut allergy." Addison stammered.  
Chase threw her face in her hands. "Oh my god!" She felt her knees give out from under her she went to fall but Derek's strong arms caught her. "Her shot, I-it. I." She stammered. How could she have not told Addison she was allergic to peanuts? How could she have forgotten something like that?  
Derek held his sister's shaking body in his arms. "Shh. She'll be okay. I promise she'll be okay" He tried to sooth.  
Addison took a deep breath and glared at Derek. He knew better than to promise her something like that especially since he had no idea how bad it was or would get.  
Chase turned to Addison. "Can I see her? How is she?"  
Addison tried her best to remain composed as she watched as Derek held his sobbing sister in his arms, keeping her on her feet. "She went into respiratory failure and she's unconscious right now."  
Chase regained her strength and stood up on her own. And Addison continued. "She's on a ventilator and she'll need surgery. Now she has a rare blood type but we're doing everything we can. I'm so sorry Chase."  
Chase wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. Derek kissed her forehead and rubbed her bath soothingly. We'll go in to see her together if you want. I'll be right here."  
She shook her head as new tears began to form. "I have to call her father."

"This is a comfortable bed. Maybe we should use your mattress." Mark said as he climbed onto Meredith's bed with his clothes and jacket still on. He laced his fingers with hers and kissed the tip of her nose.  
Meredith bit her bottom lip and looked up at him.  
She smiled lovingly at him as a soft laugh escaped her mouth. She rolled on top of him and kissed him gently. "So we're really gonna do this?" She asked.  
Mark nodded. "As long as you don't chicken out Grey." He smiled at her as he pulled her hair out of her face and he kissed her again. He rubbed his hands up and down her back as he stared at her. She was beautiful. She was even more beautiful when she smiled.  
"You smell good." He said finally after a small pause. "Like a flower. Kind of." Meredith trailed her fingertips softly over his face. "It's lavender"  
Mark moaned. "Mmm lavender I like it."  
She smiled and he tangled his hand in her hair pulling her down for a kiss. His hands slowly traveled up Meredith's top, his hands went over her back once before he pulled it over her head. He kissed her chest tenderly pulling her closer each time.  
She went to pull his jacket off of him and it was a difficult task being he was laying down. Once she got it off of him she went to throw it on the floor when a tiny picture fell out of the inside pocket onto the bed and Meredith picked it up. She looked closely at it and handed it to Mark.  
"Isn't that Derek's niece?"


	9. Wake up Call

**Chapter Nine: Wake up Call**

"Chase!" Finn breathed into her hair as he hugged her tightly. She buried her face in his chest and she began to cry. Finn looked down at his fiancée's distorted appearance. Her bright blue eyes were rimmed with red and she had dark circles under her eyes, her dark hair that was usually shiny and full of volume was flat and dull. Her face was white and she looked so weak. "I'm here sweetheart." He whispered in her ear. "How is she?"  
A sob escaped her mouth. "They wanna cut my baby open." She cried even harder. Finn's strong grip tightened as he held her close. "Shhhh. Don't worry." He moved his face lower and kissed her gently. "Well get through this."  
Chase shook her head furiously. "I'm a terrible mother!"  
"No you're not. You're a great mom. This was one mistake. One mishap. Things happen Chase."

Just then two men walked up.. Finn looked up from Chase to the two men standing in front of them. Derek smiled weakly and extended his hand to Finn. "I'm Derek Shepard. Chase's brother. Finn nodded. "Finn Dandridge. Nice to finally meet you."  
Derek nodded. I'm sorry it had to be under such horrible circumstances."  
Finn nodded in agreement. Derek sighed and turned to the man standing beside him. "Chase, Finn. I want you to meet Preston Burke. He's one of the best Cardiothoracic Surgeon's in the state,. He'll be performing Aliany's surgery."  
Chase and Finn took turns shaking Preston's hand when they finished their greeting Preston began to explain the reality of the situation. " Aliany's body is weak right now, machine's are still helping her breathe but we're hoping she'll become a little stronger in the next day or two. Now Chase I'm sure you know that Aliany has a very rare blood type."  
Chase nodded. "Yeah. I know." She shook her head sadly. "I'm not a match."  
Derek then looked over at Finn. "Then Finn should be. You'll donate your blood right?"  
Finn's eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he shook his head. He was ready to reply but Chase's voiced stopped him. "He's not a match."  
Derek looked over at his sister. "What?"  
She closed her eyes tightly willing her tears away as she continued. "He' won't be a match."  
"But that's impossible."  
Chase looked up a t Derek. Her farcical expression was full of remorse. She wanted to say something anything instead she just remained silent. Derek grabbed a hold of her arm and dragged her to a small corner over by the nurses station. "Is there something you want to tell me?" He asked harshly  
"Derek I'm sorry I wanted to tell you."  
He paced back and forth as he ran his hands through his think hair. He turned back to her. "where's her father?"  
Chase swallowed the lump she opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Derek stared at her without expression. He didn't understand her. She had changed. She wasn't his little sister anymore. Right now what stood in front of him was a liar. Not his sweet innocent baby sister. He sighed heavily as he walked away. He had nothing left to say to her. As Derek walked away she felt the tears that were forming spill out of her eyes and she cursed herself for not being able to stop crying. She heard someone walking down the hall and she quickly wiped her face and started walking forward. Mark's strong grip startled her.  
"Wha-?"  
"Hey."  
She swatted his arm away from her and wiped her face once again.  
"can I talk to you?" He asked.  
"No." She said turning on her heel to walk away.  
Mark grabbed her once again. "Look! I need you to act like an adult for a second okay? Why didn't you call me last night and tell me about Aliany?"  
Chase tucked her dark hair behind her ear and snorted. "I did lover boy, but you must have been to busy. You were the first person I called. Aliany has to have surgery and she has a rare blood type. Your blood type."  
Mark sighed heavily as he ran his hand over his face.  
"I don't know what to do." She cried.  
"We'll figure this out." He told her as he ran his thumb lightly across her face.  
Just then Derek made his presence known. He looked between Chase and Mark. "I'll kill you!" He yelled just as Meredith walked up. Derek's fist flew out and connected squarely with Mark's jaw, the sheer force of it making Mark stagger backward and fall right into Meredith, Mark wasn't angry. He felt guilty. He stood up and reached a hand out towards Derek, "I'm so-"  
Derek's fist was throbbing and he clenched and unclenched it a few times.  
"Save it" He sneered He reached over and grabbed Mark by his scrub shirt "I suggest you get out of my sight."  
Mark turned around facing Meredith. She walked up to him and slapped him as hard as her tiny hands could muster. "You lied to me." she walked away from him even as he called after her.

Meredith sat with her face in her hands in the locker room as she cried softly trying not to draw attention to herself if anyone were to walk in. Christina walked in quietly and sat down next to her friend. Meredith hadn't looked up and Christina still hadn't said a word. She sighed heavily and put her arm around Meredith. "Boys suck." She said finally. Meredith nodded and she wiped the tears from her face. Christina held her tighter as she began to shake a little more with the new tears that were beginning to spill out of her eyes. Meredith began to calm down and she picked her head up to look at Christina. "How'd you know?" She asked.  
"I'm your person."  
Meredith sighed. "I feel like crap."  
Christina half smiled. "Finding out your boyfriend has a love child usually does that to you."

Meredith walked onto the elevator. Her shift was over and she wanted to crawl into bed and forget about everything. She was starting to feel sick and she was dead on her feet. She was angry with Mark and she felt like a naïve teenage girl. She sighed and the bell in the elevator dinged. Derek's tired figure walked on and he stood next to her in the back of the elevator. He ignored her just like he had been doing but this particular time it bothered her, She looked over at him and she noted the sad expression on his face. He had had the day from hell and he'd walk right into it again tomorrow morning. "I know you said we aren't friends." She said finally. "But we can talk. I mean if you need someone to talk to-" She trailed off.  
Derek looked down at Meredith and tried to gather a smile but instead he just nodded and when the elevator doors opened they both went their separate ways.


	10. If I'd Found The Right Words To Say

**Chapter Ten: If I'd Found The Right Words To Say**

Days turned into weeks and Aliany's surgery went by without a hitch. Chase and Finn were setting to take their daughter home and life was getting more complicated by the second. Derek wasn't sure how he felt about his sister. He knew he loved her but he wasn't sure if he even wanted to know the entire truth anymore. Finn forgave her for her lie and all he wanted was to get his fiancée and daughter back home with him where they belonged. Whoever Mark was he wasn't Aliany's father. Not anymore. Finn just needed things to go back to the way they were. Chase didn't understand how he could be so understanding but then again, that is what made her fall in love with him. He was charming and understanding and a gentleman. She too just needed to get out of Seattle and leave the nightmare behind.  
Meredith still wasn't speaking with Mark and getting closer to Derek as the days went on. He tried to respect her whishes willing him to leave her alone. He gave her the space she needed but still he needed her to know how much he missed her. He needed her to know that Chase had been someone in his past, someone he truly did love. He sat on the stairs in front of her house hours after his shirt had ended waiting for her to come home. While he was waiting it began to rain lightly. It made him think back to their first kiss. Their first kiss right in front of her house. He had driven her home from the bar and they were sitting in his car talking and it had began to rain.  
"Lola she was showgirl dun dun dun dun…" Mark sang  
Meredith giggled as she looked over at Mark. "Kay well thanks for the ride…"  
Mark laughed softly. "So that bad huh?"  
"No it's just I would suggest you keep your day job."  
"What? You never sing in the car when your alone?" He asked  
Meredith smiled. "Yeah sometimes I do, but your not alone in the car." They both laughed.  
Mark's smile faded and his expression turned serious as a silence took over them. "Yeah I know." He looked at her as she went to exit the car. She turned back to him. "Would you like to-?"  
His lips cut her sentence short and her arms made their way around his neck as he cupped her face with his hands. She climbed onto his lap and they kissed in the front seat of his car as the rain fell angry on the roof.

"Mark what are you doing here?" Meredith asked breaking him away from his memory. Mark stood up as Meredith made her way closer. She stood in front of him. Her face was hard to read. Usually he could tell what she was thinking. But not tonight. Not in the dark, not while the rain fell harder. He felt like the air had become a little thicker and he found it a little harder to breathe. Silence took over him and Meredith grew annoyed, she pushed past him and he finally spoke. "I miss you." He let out a breath he didn't even know he had been holding, Meredith turned around to face him and Mark walked over to her letting his hands rest around her wrist. "I miss you." He said again. Meredith sighed and tilted her head. She was looking for the words. She was searching her mind for what to say to him. She hadn't figured ignoring him would be this hard.  
"Meredith…" His voice sounded pleading and his grip on her was tight. He needed her to say something. Anything.  
"I miss you too." She said finally.  
Mark sighed a sigh of relief as Meredith laced her hands with his and lead him up the stairs.  
Mark stood in front of her dresser as Meredith sat on her bed.  
"I loved Chase." He started. "I didn't see her as Derek's kid sister. She was a woman. She was beautiful, funny, smart, we had fun together. I wanted to tell Derek about us, but she wanted to wait so we kept it a secret. I wasn't using her."  
Meredith nodded. "You seem to fall in love with all the women in Derek's life." She half smiled.  
Mark smiled as he sat down next to her. He put his hands on hers and bought his forehead to hers. "I can't help it that all the women in Derek's life are amazing."  
Meredith snorted and rolled her eyes.  
"But you Meredith. You're the one. You're the only one I ever felt like I needed to fight for. Derek he'll get over what happened with Addison and maybe he'll forgive me for falling in love with you, but Chase. He'll never understand that. He thinks he knows, but he never truly will. Meredith, I love you. I love you and I need you to realize that Chase is in my past, and I didn't know about Aliany I wanted to tell you but I didn't want to lose. I'm sorry."  
Meredith ran her hand lightly across his face and smiled softly. "Did I just get an apology out of Mark Sloan?"  
He nodded. "Forgive me?" He asked.  
Meredith nodded and Mark leaned in closer. He kissed the tip of her nose. He cupped her face and kissed her lips softly He really had missed her. When he thought he was going to lose her he couldn't deny he was in love with her. It was official Mark Sloan had definitely fallen for Meredith Grey. She was it.

Derek held Chase tightly in his arms. She was leaving and they had a long talk, a talk they should have had a long time ago. He sighed as he finally let go of her.  
"I'm sorry." She said  
Derek sat silently trying to register the conversation that they had just had.  
"Everything isn't his fault. I mean I know you're mad at him for sleeping with Addison but that's not the same thing. Derek we were in a relationship and when I found out I was pregnant I just-I got scared and I left. He had no idea."  
Derek put his had down as he twirled his thumbs while listening to his sister explain the complicated mess that was called their lives.  
"He wanted to tell you. He wanted to get married."  
Derek's head shot up at her last comment. "He what?"  
Chase sighed. "I wasn't ready for that. I loved him but I didn't want a husband that was going to be at work more than he would be home with me. And when I found out I was pregnant my intentions were to terminate my pregnancy, but I couldn't do it." She shook her head as the memories filled her mind. "I couldn't do it and I just thought if I left and never looked back that I'm not sure what I thought." She admitted. "I was stupid and young and I made a mess of everything. But I'm not going to leave here knowing you're angry with Mark. I know he's not perfect and he's made a lot of mistakes but He's given me the most beautiful little girl in the entire world and I'll always love him for that, he holds a special place in my heart and he didn't hurt me. He promised me he'd never hurt me and he didn't. I hurt him."  
Derek stared at Chase as she finished. "You're right he's not perfect. I don't get why-Addison, You, Meredith. You all…" He trailed off.  
"Addison was lonely and Mark-Mark probably needed to get laid." she laughed softly.  
Derek glared at her and then his expression softened. "I'm not mad about Addison. Not anymore. We're different people."  
Chase nodded. "Then this is about the slutty intern."  
"She's not slutty."  
Chase smiled. "I know."  
Derek sighed as he threw his hands over his face.  
"Mark loves her." she said.  
Derek sighed, "I do too."  
"Yeah." She said sadly. "I know."

Mark leaned in the doorway as he watched Aliany sleep. She really was his spitting image. She was leaving tomorrow morning and he had the strange feeling that watching her sleep, that moment would be the last time he saw her for a long time, not until she was older. At least now that he knew about her he didn't have to worry about her growing up without a father or her finding him at 18 and asking him why'd he'd given her away. He knew she'd be well taken care of not that it was any of his business. He sighed as he turned to walk away only to meet Derek standing behind him. Derek managed a smile. "Hey how she doing?" He asked,  
Mark looked at Aliany over his shoulder before replying. "She's good. Her pressure's still up, she's definitely outta here tomorrow."  
Derek nodded and Mark began to walk away. Derek swallowed his pride and called after Mark. He turned around and Derek walked over to him. "Jesica said I should apologize for punching you."  
"Gee Thanks." Mark replied sarcastically.  
Derek tried again. "I mean I'm sorry for punching you."  
A small paused took affect and then Mark spoke again. "I'm sorry too I just want you to know if nothing else that I swear I-"  
Derek cut him off. "I know," he half smiled. "Chase explained everything and even thought I'm not okay with it." He paused. "Your family. Kind of."  
Mark nodded. "Listen Shep, I miss my friend."  
Derek too nodded as he began to walk toward Aliany's room. "I'm not ready yet." He said.  
Derek walked into Aliany's room checked her chart and walked to her bedside to check her IV He brushed her curls off of her sweaty forehead and her heart monitor began to beep. Derek panicked as he the nurses ran in. He began to scream orders "Give her 100 of fentanyl, and page Dr. Burke."  
Mark looked up at Derek  
"Decreased breath sounds on the right." Olivia confirmed She then looked between the two doctors. "What do you want to do now Dr. Sheperd?"  
Derek ran his hands through his hair. "Uh Wait! Wait for Burke." 


	11. Holding out and Holding in

**Chapter Eleven: Holding out and Holding in**

"So is she okay?" Meredith asked as she felt Mark climb into bed. He laid down next to her wrapping his arms softly around her body..  
Mark sighed heavily. "Yeah." He replied. He kissed her hair and she snuggled closer.  
"What was wrong with her?"  
"She started a fever. It went down, Burke was talking about some other stuff but I mean I'm not her doctor or-"  
Meredith jerked away and turned on her side to face him causing him to stop mid sentence. "Seriously?" She asked.  
"What?" Mark asked dumbly. He searched her eyes for the correct answer.  
"You're her father."  
Mark shook his head and laid his head on Meredith's stomach. "Finn is her father."  
She ran her fingers through his hair as they laid in a comfortable silence for a few moments and Mark decided they had been quiet long enough. "Derek and I had a talk."  
"Really?" She asked. Mark nodded. Meredith could feel the movement against her stomach. He lifted his head and rested his chin where his head had laid moments before.  
"What about?" She asked.  
"Well it wasn't really a talk but we you know we..."  
"…had a guy talk." Meredith finished. "Where you didn't really say anything you just nodded and made a lot of hand gestures." She laughed. Mark chuckled along with her.  
"You know me to well." He smiled as he lift the fabric of her shirt to reveal her navel. He kissed the sensitive skin around her bellybutton softly and he looked up at her into her eyes.  
"What?" She asked.  
Mark smiled. "Nothing."  
Meredith giggled as he bought himself to his knees and pulled her closer. "Just…I love you." He said softly.  
Her smile widened as she bought her head down to kiss him. "I love you too."  
Mark's hands slid up her shirt and down her back where his hands rested on her lower back, he trailed light kisses over the neckline of her tank top. His lips on her body made her shiver with desire. She never thought anyone would be able to make her feel that way ever again. There was a connection her and Mark shared that she never would have guessed. They were definitely better together than apart.  
He leaned forward pinning Meredith to the bed and they kissed passionately as their hands roamed each others bodies. Mark pulled his shirt over his head and Meredith trailed her fingertips along his chest and brought him down closer to her and kissed over his chest lightly. He entangled his hands in his hair as he kissed her neck feverishly and she moaned in passion. "I want you." She said huskily. He kissed her brutally claiming her mouth and he began to tear her clothes away from her body.  
Mark emerged from the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist with his body still dripping wet. Meredith's mouth watered as she watched him make his way over to her. A smirk formed across his lips as he crawled onto the bed next to her. She laid with just the thin material of the sheets covering her naked body. She smiled as he leaned forward to kiss her.

The next morning Aliany's fever had went down and she was discharged and ready to go home. Chase made sure she found Mark before she left for the airport. She needed to say her formal goodbye and she wanted to make sure things where going to be okay between them in the future. She knocked lightly on his office door before she made her way in. She found Meredith sitting on his desk as Mark hovered over her. Meredith stifled her giggles as she noticed Chase's presence.  
"Sorry to interrupt."  
Mark turned around meeting Chase's bright blue eyes.  
"You're not interrupting." Meredith said as she slid off of the desk. She kissed Mark quickly on the mouth before making her way to the door. Chase smiled at her and Meredith smiled back.  
Mark cleared his throat. "So…Hey." He said.  
Chase looked down at the floor and smiled. "Hey." she said bringing her face back up her eyes meeting his pale blue ones. "We're going home."  
Mark nodded. "Yup."  
"Listen Mark, I've made a lot of mistakes and the biggest well it's obvious." She paused. "Finn and I were talking and we want you to be apart of Aliany's life, theres no reason why she can't have the both of you. I was wrong to keep her away from you and now that you know, now that it's all out in the open…When she gets older she'll know that she has two dad's that love her."  
Mark's heart sank as he listened to Chase ramble on and he loved her for trying to make things right. He didn't know how to be a father though. He just had no idea. Sure he had a father a great father one he talked to regularly, but he just wasn't sure he was cut out to be the fathering type which was one of the reasons he hadn't asked questions when Chase had asked him to sign the papers. Sure there were things he wanted to know but there had to have been a reason why god hadn't given him kids...or why Chase had hidden the fact that they shared a child.  
"I don't know anything about kids." He said finally after all his thoughts subsided.  
Chase's face fell. "Oh I-What?"  
"I don't know anything about kids, I don't know anything about her…"  
"We can take baby steps. We're coming to visit fourth of July. You can maybe hang out that weekend you know? And soon when you guys get comfortable she can spend weekends in the summer with you and you know.." She trailed off when his expression didn't change.  
Mark broke into a small smile and nodded. "Baby steps"  
He liked the idea of father-daughter outings.

Derek smiled as he walked up behind Meredith. "Hey." He said.  
"Hi" she smiled.  
"So are we still on for tonight?" He asked. "You owe me a drink from last week." He laughed.  
Meredith smirked. "Last I heard we weren't friends."  
Derek laughed. "That was ages ago. We're friends. We've been pretty good friends." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively making Meredith burst into a fir of giggles. She nodded. "Yeah we're still on." She smiled.  
Derek took the chart she was looking over from her and nodded back. "Good. See you tonight then." and she smiled brightly as she watched him walk away. Just then Mark walked up behind Meredith nestling his head in the crook of her neck. "What time do you get off?" He asked.  
Meredith thought for a second. "Early." She laughed. Mark laughed with her and kissed her lightly on the neck. "I get off….early too." He said. "How about we talk more about you moving in?"  
Meredith turned to face Mark and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Can't I'm going out with a friend tonight." Before he could inquire further his pager went off and Meredith kissed him quickly and she walked off.

Derek smiled as he watched Meredith walk into the bar. His eyes followed her as she made her way over to him. "I ordered you a drink." He smiled as she sat down.  
"Oh no. I'm not drinking this was for you. Do we remember the last time I drank?"  
Derek nodded as a wide smile spread across his face. "Yes. Yes I remember do you?" He teased.  
Meredith smiled softly. "No I don't which is why I am not drinking. Liquor makes everything and everyone a little more porny."  
"Porny?"  
Meredith nodded. They laughed as she tried to explain to him what porny meant.

Derek's smile never left his face as he walked Meredith to her front door. Her green eyes glistened from the porch light and he felt like he was a thirteen year old kid again saying goodnight to his date. He didn't want the night to end. He knew him and Meredith were just friends and he knew tonight wasn't a date. Her and Mark's brief time apart had put Derek back in the game. They had spent a few nights together at Joe's both drinking their true feelings away. But they were friends and tonight they had laughed and talked and had done all the things they had done as a couple.. He even managed to convince her to sit with him for a while and watch the Ferry boats. Meredith said good night and turned to walk inside her house but Derek grabbed a hold of her forearm and he stopped her. He forced her to face him and his smile fell from his face to an expression that turned serious. "Meredith." he started.  
"What?"  
"I know we're friends. I know I said that we could be friends.."  
"And then you said we couldn't..."  
"But now- I.."  
"What?" She asked concerning seething from her voice  
"You have a choice to make. I love you. I know I'm a little late in telling you this. I know you're with Mark but you have a choice to make. Me or him. I know I hurt you, and when I had a choice to make I chose wrong. But I just wanted you to know that I had a great time tonight and I miss you." And with that said He reacted the only way he knew how. All of his repressed feelings he needed to let them out. He kissed her passionately as they stood on her front porch darkness surrounding them. When they broke apart Derek stared down into her eyes and he knew he had to leave. He didn't want to but if he didn't he wouldn't be able to contain himself. So he walked away. He walked to his car and Meredith watched him drive off. She walked into her house and leaned against the front door. She stood there for a moment. Derek was right. She had a choice to make. A final choice. She had to go to him. 


	12. Finally Chosen

**Chapter Twelve: Finally Chosen**

Meredith walked slowly as her eyes tried to adjust to her dark surroundings. As she walked through the dark apartment she kicked off her shoes and slipped her clothes off of her body. She slowly climbed into bed and wrapped Mark's arms around her body. He stiffened in his sleep and wrapped his arms tightly around Meredith as the familiar sent of lavender filled his nose.  
"What are you doing here?" He asked groggily.  
She snuggled as close as she could but kept silent.  
"Are you okay?"  
She was silent for a moment longer but finally answered.  
"I went out with Derek tonight."  
She couldn't see but Mark had nodded. "I Know."  
"It wasn't a date." She paused. "It didn't start out as a date."  
"Mm-Hm."  
Meredith bought herself to her knees with her hands in her lap and turned on the light. Mark sat up as well and leaned against the headboard. With his arms folded across his chest. He was hurt but he didn't want her to know it. And she continued. "And he kissed me."  
"Well he loves you." He said with a sigh "Do you love him?"  
"He said I had a choice to make."  
Mark looked at her waiting for her to continue. She had walked into his apartment in the middle of the night to tell him about her date with Derek. His ex best friend a man that was still in love with her. She was telling him about how he kissed her and told her she had a choice to make but still Meredith was unpredictable and he wasn't sure that any of this meant she chose him. She may have loved him but she had also been in love with Derek.  
"But do you love him?" Mark asked again.  
"I do. I love Derek…"  
Mark's world came crashing down. Of course she loved Derek. Their relationship had started for her to get over Derek and him to get over Addison. The only problem was that He was over Addison completely. But Meredith. She wasn't over Derek.  
"I love Derek as a friend. I choose you. I love you." She finished. She leaned over and trailed her fingers over his face. Mark's hands rested on her hips and he pulled her closer as she leaned into kiss him. He responded eagerly to her kiss and began to dig his fingernails into her soft flesh as she fell on top of him. Meredith wrapped her arms around his neck and he rolled over now his body was covering hers. Their kisses became heated and Meredith needed him to be inside her, filling her up.  
"Pants," she said breathlessly.  
Meredith helped Mark remove his pajama bottoms and he unclaps her bra and slid her panties off. Never breaking eye contact, Mark lowered himself into her. He couldn't help the loud moan that escaped his lips as he pushed himself into her. Meredith closed her eyes and tightened her grip on him as he slowly entered her. She couldn't help the swift intake of breath. He felt so good.. Meredith wrapped her hands around Mark's neck. She lifted her head from the bed and captured his lips with her own, needing to feel his lips on hers again as he moved inside her. Up and down, then in that circular motion he knew would hit her spot. Their already intense love making soon became more intense as they both felt their releases nearing.  
When it was over Mark stayed in his position over her and still in her for a few minutes needing to recover before placing a single kiss on her lips and rolling over. He opened his arm inviting her to come to him.  
Meredith smiled as she wrapped her arm around his waist and lowered her head onto his chest. She let out a content sigh as she lied in bed with his arms wrapped around her. Laying there with him in his arms she knew it was the one place she had only ever wanted to be.

Derek smiled as he watched Meredith and the other interns walk into a patients room.  
"Who's presenting?" Preston asked.  
"Dr. Grey."  
Meredith had watched Derek watch her she lost herself in his stare and hadn't been paying attention to what she was doing or supposed to be doing or where she was.  
"Dr. Grey!." Miranda pressed as Christina nudged her.  
"Oh um." she turned around to face the patient. "Uh This is Denny Duquette age 37 and he's here for a heart transplant." She said quickly. "He had his first transplant six yeas ago and-"  
"That didn't work out." Denny started. "And now I'm back for a new heart. My old one is a little worn out. I think I've used it to much." He joked  
Izzie smiled widely as Denny made eyes at her. Dr. Burke chose his intern and everyone was assigned to their duties. Christina snorted as Izzie was chosen.  
"That's not fair they were totally having eye sex. Izzie was having eye sex with bad heart guy."  
"Dr. Yang!"  
"What? I-" Christina shut her mouth and rolled her eyes at Izzie as she stomped from the room. She was in the pit, she just walked off before her mouth got her into more trouble.

Derek still hadn't taken his eyes of Meredith as he watched her walk over to him. "Hi." She said.  
"Hi." He smiled. He went to push a strand of hair out of her eyes but she recoiled causing Derek to put his hand down. He swallowed hard and she had answered his question without him even asking. He sighed as he looked away trying to avoid eye contact. "You're staying with him."  
"I love him."  
Derek whirled his head around making himself look into her green eyes and he just nodded. He couldn't speak. He lost her. He wanted her to be happy and if Mark made her happy then he wanted her to be with him. But if Mark hurt her like he knew he would. Like he hurt any woman he was involved with he'd kill him and that was a promise.. Derek felt the tears well up in his eyes and he turned to walk away. He secretly wished she would stop him and tell him it was all a mistake that she loved him back but she didn't. It was really finally over. She had finally chosen.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" Derek asked. Addison could feel his breath on her neck. She turned around to face him and pulled her glasses from her face. She looked at him curiously. "What is it?" She asked  
Derek drew in a deep breath. "I uh wanna talk to you."  
Addison raised a curious eyebrow but followed Derek anyway. He lead her into an empty on-call room and she closed the door behind them. "Lock it." He said. Addison did what he said and asked again.  
"What's going on?"  
"Let's have sex."  
"Wha-? Derek have you? Sex?"  
Derek nodded eagerly.  
Addison laughed. "Didn't we just get divorced?"  
"You slept with my bestfriend."  
"Derek I'm not in love with you anymore."  
Derek shook his head. "So? I'm not in love with you either. It would be like friends with benefits. Without the friends part." He said as he pulled his navy blue scrub top off.  
Addison felt her face flame. What was sex with Derek? So what if he was her ex husband. They didn't love each other but she wasn't getting any and clearly neither was he. Derek looked up at Addison after he threw his shirt on the floor. Addison looked at the discarded shirt on the floor and then back up at Derek. All rational thought went out the window when he kissed her neck lightly. She ran her fingers through his thick hair as he lift her leg to his waist. She wrapped her other leg around his waist and he pinned her with his body against the door. He carefully slid her panties down her legs over her stiletto shoes. And with one hand he pulled his own pants to the floor. He entered her roughly. Addison dug her nails into Derek's back urging him to move faster. "Faster Derek." she cried. Sex had never been so rough with Derek before. Derek was trying desperately to forget about his feelings for Meredith and concentrate on the amazing sex he was having with Addison of all women. If he could just forget all about Meredith he could have this kind of sex with any women he wanted. He thrust deeper into Addison as he pictured Meredith making love to Mark. He heard Addison cry out in a mixture of pain and pleasure. As he pictured Mark's hands traveling Meredith's naked body he grabbed a hold of Addison's long red locks and began sucking on a single spot of her neck as he did this Addison dug her nails deeper into the flesh of his back. Derek moved faster as he felt Addison tighten around him. Addison bit down on her bottom lip as she felt the waves of pleasure course through her body. She moaned Derek's name softly and not to long after he exploded inside of her.  
Derek rested his head on her chest as her body became limp, both recovering and waiting for their breath to return to their lungs. Derek removed himself from Addison and pulled his pants up. He picked his shirt up off the floor along with Addison's panties and handed them to her.  
"Thank you." He said.  
Addison nodded as she flattened her hair. She let Derek walk out a head of her and as she walked out of the on-call room back into the bright hospital halls she couldn't help but notice the stares she received. Did everyone hear her and Derek? Did everyone know she had just had sex? And with her ex husband? Would she once again become the top of the Seattle Grace Hospital Gossip chain?


	13. Shiver

**Chapter Thirteen: Shiver**

Mrs. Scott I'm so sorry to keep you waiting. Something came up." Addison apologized as she entered her patients room.  
"I bet." Alex laughed under his breath. Addison looked at him and then back at Mrs. Scott. "How are you feeling?" She continued  
Mrs. Scott looked Addison over.  
"Dr. Montgomery." Alex interrupted.  
Addison looked over at Alex. "Yes Dr. Karvev?"  
"There's a bite mark on your neck."  
Addison's hand flew to her neck "What?"  
Alex smirked as he nodded. "Have you been a naughty girl Dr. Montgomery?" He laughed. He was being completely unprofessional and Addison glared at him. She cleared her throat. "Dr. Karev will help you with anything you need and if you need anything Alex page me." Addison turned and walked out of the room. She kept her hand on her neck and tried to ignore all the curious stares she got. She entered the nearest bathroom and looked into the mirror she gasped in horror as she peered at the mark Derek left on her neck. She shut her eyes tightly and cursed him under her breath.

"I didn't believe it, but now that I see it with my own eyes, there's no way I can't." Mark laughed as he put the chart he was holding down standing next to Addison. He moved his face closer to Addison's neck trying to examine the hicky. He chuckled again. "Somebody's been getting busy."  
Addison scoffed and rolled her eyes as she snapped her chart shut She flipped the color of her blouse up and stomped away angrily. She was going to kill Derek. As Addison rounded the corner she literarily bumped right into him. "There you are!" She exclaimed.  
Derek looked behind him and when he saw no one he poked at his own chest. "Me?"  
Addison nodded, "Yes you." She said angrily. "Do you see what you did to me?" she asked in a hushed harsh tone flipping her collar down.  
Derek smiled proudly at his work, but he wiped the smile form his face once he saw Addison was not in any way impressed. He cleared his throat. "Sorry."  
"Sorry?"  
Derek nodded. "I didn't mean to, I was just really into you. -IT. It." He groaned in frustration at his words. "You know what I mean."  
Addison drew in a deep breath. "Derek that can't happen again."  
"The sex or the hicky?"  
"Both."  
Derek raised his eyebrow. "So you're saying you didn't like the sex?"  
"No. Yes. No. I'm saying that we're divorced we got divorced for a reason. Divorced couples do not have sex in on call rooms."  
Derek laughed. "Who made up that rule?" Derek laughed loudly. "How about we do it again. The sex, not the hicky say about 7:30 I have 45 minutes free." He smiled looking at his watch as he walked away. Addison stared after him,

Addison sat down next to Callie as she slid her trey onto the table. Callie smirked "So what's up with the love bite? You're seeing someone and you haven't told me?"  
Addison rolled her eyes. "Hardly."  
"Is it Sloan?"  
Addison laughed as she bought her water to her mouth. "He and Grey are joined at the hip when would I have time to-?" Addison shook her head. "It's nothing, no one."  
"Uh huh that mark on your neck proves other wise."  
Addison laughed lightly. "I'm serious, It was a one time thing and I don't want to talk about it."  
"Okay fine. I won't mention it anymore, but you know you're gonna tell me anyway."  
Addison looked down from her salad to her beeping pager. She looked at the number and got up from her seat. "You're right." She nodded to Callie before walking off.  
"I was paged?" Addison asked as she reached the nurses station.  
"Right." Olivia said. "Dr. Shepherd. He's looking for you."  
Addison nodded as she rolled her eyes. "Right. Of course he is." She bit back her smile. In some weird way Derek made her feel wanted. She wasn't sure what was going on with him but It felt good to now someone wanted her if that was what this was. She walked to the first on-call room she saw and there Derek was laying on his back staring up at the ceiling. "You paged." She said as she walked in. She shut the door behind her. She wasn't going to have sex with Derek. Something was up. Since when did they have secret meetings in on-call rooms. Never.  
"We have a date." He smiled as he got up from the bed. He walked over to her his smile growing wider.  
Addison put her hand in front of her causing Derek to stop. "I'm not having dirty on-call room sex with you."  
Derek pouted. "Why not? I thought we had fun the first time."  
Addison sighed heavily. "Because, because.."  
"Because what?" He asked.  
"Just because."  
"That's not a good enough reason." Derek pulled Addison into him pulling her into a heavily passion ridden kiss. Without having time to think Addison quickly removed Derek's while jacket letting it fall to the floor and only breaking their kiss for a second so she could pull his scrub top over his head. Addison moved forward and the back of Derek's legs hit the bed. Addison pushed him forward and she fell on top of him. Addison kicked her shoes off as Derek's hands traveled up her skirt, he pulled her panties down to her ankles and she too kicked those off as she pulled Derek's pants down as well. His hands traveled up and down her long legs and to her ass. He firmly grabbed her and lowered her onto him. They both sighed at the feeling of her surrounding him. As they began to find a rhythm the door was pushed open and Christina got an eye full of something she wasn't expecting and definitely didn't want to see. "Oh-Oh I'm so sorry!" She said and she quickly shut the door. She mouthed an "Oh my god." and walked hurriedly down the hall.  
Addison quickly jumped off of Derek and smacked herself mentally for not locking the door.  
"What do you think you're doing?" Derek asked as he watched Addison search for her panties.  
She looked up at Derek for a second and glared at him. "Are you serious!? Yang just caught us and you want to finish?"  
Derek grabbed Addison by the arm and pulled her back onto the bed. "Yes. Yes I do." He laughed as his kiss silenced her. He knew for sure this would get back to Meredith.

Meredith walked onto the balcony and wrapped her arms around Mark's waist as she rested her head on his back. The night air was cool and the air felt light. Mark sighed as he turned around to face Meredith. He leaned his back onto the railing and he kissed her lightly on the forehead wrapping his own arms around her small frame.  
"Just think." He said. "We could do this every night in the summer, we could stand on the balcony on nice nights like this holding each other." He smiled into her hair before kissing the top of her head. Meredith let out a soft laugh and sighed. "You're getting soft." She laughed. "But I like this."  
Mark hugged her tighter. "Me too."  
Meredith looked up at Mark as a light rain began to fall, she pulled at the hem of his shirt willing to pull it over his head. Mark raised his arms making the task a little easier and once off Meredith let it fall at their feet. Meredith smiled as the droplets of rain fell over Mark's bare shoulders and she kissed his chest lightly trailing kisses all over his naked chest. He looked down at her with a smile. He saw her body tremble in a shiver. "Are you cold?" he asked as he rubbed her arms. Meredith laughed. "How ironic? You're standing outside in the rain shirtless but you're asking me if I'm cold."  
Mark laughed too and picked her up as she wrapped her legs around his waist.. "Let's go inside and finish what you started."  
Meredith giggled all the way inside as Mark carried her and placed frantic kisses on her stomach.  
So come to bed it's getting late  
Once in the bedroom he laid her down softly, he looked in her eyes for a brief second as he hovered over her before bridging the gap and crashing his lips against hers. He slipped his hand to the nape of her neck and brought her face closer to his. He needed to feel her lips on his in a hard searing kiss. Meredith moaned in his mouth and her body trembled beneath him. He reached behind her and unclasp her bra and slowly pulled it off of her exposing her breast. He ran his fingers lightly over her hard nipples and bought his mouth close.  
There's no more time for us to waste  
She could feel his hot breath on her skin and she wanted nothing more than for him to make love to her. Her knew exactly what to do to make her shiver with desire. He took one of her nipples into his mouth, rolling the other between thumb and forefinger. Meredith arched her back as she threaded her hands through Mark's hair. A moan  
escaped her as he switched breasts.  
Remember how my body tastes  
Meredith ran her feet over Mark's legs, she moved her hands to his belt and was growing frustrated as it wouldn't come undone. It finally gave and Meredith moved Mark pants down slowly and he removed her own pants. His lips found hers again and she smiled as he kissed her lovingly.  
You feel your heart begin to race  
Meredith rolled over on top of Mark and his hands gripped her hips tightly as she fastened their pace. He felt her clench tightly around him and he knew she was on her way. He couldn't help but follow shortly after and he moaned her name softly. Meredith collapsed on his chest and kissed his shoulder softly, Mark laughed lightly as he ran his fingers through her hair. "What's so funny " she asked.  
"Nothing just you're a little kinky."  
Meredith laughed. "What?"  
"You were undressing me outside. You were going to jump me right there on the balcony in front of all of my neighbors."  
"Sex on the balcony could have been fun."  
Mark pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes and smiled. "See kinky." He laughed. "I like it."  
Meredith hit him on the chest as he rolled over on top of her. She was so glad they had found each other. 


	14. Between Order and Randomness

**Chapter Fourteen: Between Order and Randomness**

"He rented a U-Haul?" Christina raised an eyebrow at Meredith as Mark parked the large truck in front of Meredith's house.  
Meredith shrugged. "What? He's excited." She smiled as she watched Mark walk up the stairs towards her. He lift her in his arms and twirled her around. He set her down back on her feet and kissed her on the forehead. He smiled at Christina, she gave him a nod.  
"I'm a little scared." he admitted. "I've never lived with a woman before you know with the exception of my mom."  
"-and Addison…" Meredith finished.  
Mark nodded slowly. "That doesn't count."  
Meredith laughed. "It's okay." She said.  
Christina snorted. "It is?"  
Meredith turned to her best friend. "Yes. It is."  
Mark stuck his tongue out at Christina mockingly before Meredith turned back to face him.

"Have any of you seen Dr. Montgomery?" Alex asked as he walked up behind Izzie, Christina and George as they stood looking into Chief Webber's office as he had a conversation with a very important guest at the hospital. Ellis Grey was visiting. And Meredith had no idea. Meredith wasn't even due t the hospital today, she was taking the weekend off. Not to mention she had already moved out of her mother's house. But of course Ellis had no idea, Meredith was screwed and she didn't even know it.  
"One of us should call Meredith." Izzie said as she turned to look at George.  
"What? I-I'm not calling." George stammered.  
"Christina you call." George said turning to her.  
"What?! Why do I have to call?"  
"You're her best friend." Izzie offered.  
"Have any of you seen Dr. Montgomery." Alex asked again annoyed. He hated being ignored.  
"Probably having mc sex in one of the on call rooms." Christina mumbled.  
"Excuse me?" Alex asked as he became even more irritated  
Christina rolled her eyes. "Page her." She huffed as she turned back around to the chief's office.  
"Did you say mc sex?" Izzie asked.  
Christina rolled her eyes once again and turned to look at Izzie. "I caught Mc Dreamy and the adulterous bitch doing the mc nasty last week, the hickey? Work of Mc Dreamy himself."  
Izzie laughed out in shock. "What? Are you serious?"  
Christina nodded. "I thought when you got divorced that meant you didn't have sex anymore, guess I was wrong."  
"So just like that they're back together?" George asked.  
"I wouldn't know."  
"Does Meredith know?" Izzie asked. "I mean should we tell her?"  
"Why would Meredith even care? She's with Mc Steamy now. Mc dreamy told her to choose and she chose."  
"He told her to what?"  
"Geez Barbie have you been living under a rock?" Christina scowled.  
"Oh look she's coming out." Alex pointed.  
"Wow Dr. Ellis Grey." Izzie squealed.  
"I really think one of us should warn Meredith." George said again.  
Izzie and Christina nodded. "Yeah."

"So are you excited?" Mark asked Meredith as he squeezed her hand tightly. Meredith shrugged. "More like nervous." She admitted.  
Mark laughed. "I haven't told them about Aliany yet." He said suddenly. "Feel better?"  
Meredith stopped walking abruptly. "Why would that make me feel better?" Meredith's brows furrowed in confusion.  
"Thought it might take some of the edge off." He shrugged. "You know so you don't think so much about what they think off you and more about how pissed they're going to be at me once they find out." He tugged lightly on Meredith's hand for her to continue walking. "But just so you know, they're going to love you."  
Meredith still carried the confused look on her face as they waited at the luggage claim. Mark grabbed they're bags and motioned for Meredith to follow him.  
"I shouldn't have come." She said finally.  
Mark turned to look at her. "What?"  
Meredith shook her head furiously. "This should be a time for you and your family. This was the time for you to tell them about Aliany and me being here is going to ruin it." She said.  
Mark set their luggage down and grabbed Meredith by the shoulders. He gripped her firmly and stared at her intently. "You being here isn't ruining anything. I want you to meet my family, they want to meet you. I'll tell them about Aliany another time, but right now isn't the time, besides" He sighed. "Who's to say Chase and dog doctor won't changes their minds because I mean legally I'm not even her father anymore."  
Meredith rubbed the side of mark's face lightly as he still gripped her shoulders. "His name is Finn, I doubt they'd appreciate you calling him dog doctor and a vet treats more than dogs you know a vet is an animal doctor and anyway that piece of paper doesn't change a thing." She said.  
"Actually it does,"  
"Chase won't change her mind."  
Mark sighed. "Still I'll wait. I'm not ready yet, I want them to meet her you know? We'll invite them for the fourth of July. That's the plan."  
Meredith nodded as Mark pressed a quick kiss on her lips. "One life altering event at a time." He smiled.  
Meredith nodded and smiled again. "So I'm a life altering event?" She asked a smirk gracing her features.  
"Maybe." He shrugged,

Meredith knew Mark was wasn't embarrassed by the fact, but he was more so scared. Scared of actually admitting he had a little person of his own that maybe he didn't know but he loved. Once he saw her he knew he'd never be the same again. He just wanted everyone to accept it. He wanted everyone to understand.  
Meredith smiled once again as he looked back at her over his shoulder. In about 30 minutes she'd be meeting the Sloan's. She was terrified. She wasn't really the family type. Christina, Izzie and George were her family. Meredith lost her thoughts and climbed into the taxi, she sat with her hands in her lap and wished for a good weekend as they drove silently to the ferry boat that then would take them over to Staten Island to where Mark's childhood home sat.

Addison sat on the porcelain seat as she looked the box in her hand over. She rolled her eyes at how ironic her entire situation was. Here she was sitting in the bathroom with a pregnancy test in her hand, she could possibly pregnant with her ex husbands child, a man she knew didn't love her anymore, a man she didn't love anymore as well. She took a deep sigh and smacked herself in the forehead with the box. What the hell had her life become? She was in love with her ex husbands ex best friend who was in love with her ex husbands ex mistress; her ex husband was in love with his ex mistress yet sleeping with her. It all gave her a headache to think about. And now. Now she was sitting in a bathroom alone, divorced…and with a pregnancy test in her hand. All the years her and Derek had been married a child had not been conceived yet now divorced here she was. She swallowed hard as she began to rip the box open. It was now or never.

Mark smiled widely as his mother swung the door open. She wrapped him in his arms and kissed him lovingly on the cheek. Markie!" she exclaimed excitedly.  
Mark laughed and returned his mother's hug. "Hey ma."  
When they pulled apart Mark's mother looked over at Meredith. She pulled her into a hug as well. "And you must be Meredith." She smiled into her hair as she hugged her tightly. Meredith hugged her back. It felt weird being embraced like that. She didn't get hugged. Not like that. She got hugged by Mark but it was different. This was a motherly hug and Meredith liked it. She wasn't close to her own mother so she welcomed the security she felt. "I'm Marie." The older gray-haired woman smiled as she ushered them in the house "You're even more beautiful than Mark described." she said as she took their bags from Mark. Two small children ran from upstairs as soon as the door was shut behind them.  
"Mark!" one of the kids yelled. Mark bent down to his knees and the child ran right into his arms. "Hey bud!" Mark turned to Meredith. "This is my cousin Haley's son James." He smiled. "He's 5,"  
"And we're best friend's right Mark?"  
Mark smiled. "Right bud." Mark ruffled his hair and stood up. "Haley and Marcus are here?" He asked his mother.  
She nodded. "Everyone's in the yard. It's such a nice day out your father wanted to barbeque." She smiled. "Well I'll let you two get settled in, when you're ready come join us."  
Mark nodded. "Thanks ma."  
Marie winked and left Meredith and Mark standing in the living room alone.  
When she was sure Marie was gone Meredith spoke. "She's friendly."  
Mark laughed. "Mom's usually are."  
"Not mine." She mumbled.  
Mark's smiled faded. "Mer…"  
She half smiled. "I'm hot going to ruin this with my dark and twisty-ness. Your mom is nice and we're going to have a good weekend." She smiled as he enveloped her in his arms.  
"Yes we are." She smiled and leaned down and their faces were inches apart.

"Bullshit!" was yelled in the distance.

Mark's head shot up and Meredith wrinkled her nose in confusion. "What was that?"  
Mark laughed. "Are you sure you're ready?" He asked teasingly.  
"Ready? Ready for what?" He grabbed her by the hand and lead her into the back yard.  
"Hey everyone!" Mark shouted as he and Meredith entered the back yard. There were so many people, so many children. Meredith hadn't pictured Mark to be the family type. She never really had seen that side of him before. They never talked about family. This had to be one of the many mysteries to Mark Sloan.  
An older man with a Yankee's cap stood up over the table everyone sat at and reached over to shake Meredith's hand. "I'm Frank, Mark's old man." He smiled light heartedly at her.  
"Meredith." She said extending her hand. Frank's lips touched the bare skin of the back of Meredith's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you dear."  
"Oh come on pop. You're trying to seduce my girlfriend right in front of me!" Mark teased. "And you've just met her."  
Frank laughed as he sat back down in his chair and mark introduced Meredith to everyone else around the table.

Meredith took a seat next to Frank.  
"So you've got a game of bullshit going?" Mark asked as he sat across from Meredith.  
"Just a little game of bullshit." Frank answered. "Wanna join us?"  
Meredith shook her head. "I don't really know how to play."  
"Well, we're going to teach you how. lt's very simple. Trick is to get rid of all the cards in your hand, all right?"  
Meredith nodded. And Frank continued.  
"So l'm going to look in my hand, and l'm going to see what l've got here. And, what do you know? l've got two aces here." He paused. "Well, two aces. What do you say to that Mer? What are you going to say?"  
Mark looked at Meredith's expression when his father called her 'Mer' her nickname rolled off of his tongue so easily, and Meredith looked so comfortable.  
"l say bullshit." She said.  
"Mm-hmm. What did she say? l didn't quite hear. Did you guys...?" Frank asked turning to the family.  
"l didn't hear what she said." Haley smiled. Frank turned back to Meredith. "Now honey what did you say?"  
"l said bullshit!" She yelled.  
"All right! Well, she knows how to play the game!" Frank laughed  
Mark winked at Meredith as he took his cousin Joe's hand and looked down at the cards carefully, studying them. He looked back up around the table with a smile spread across his face.  
"Look at the expert here." Frank laughed and Mark's smile grew wider.  
"We're going to start at the beginning now."  
Mark nodded. "Fine by me."  
"So we go to twos. Let's see, now. l've got myself one deuce here."  
"Bullshit."  
"Whoa!"  
"Bullshit, Pop."  
Frank turned to Meredith and smiled. "He's a human lie detector, isn't he?"  
Meredith giggled. She loved watching Mark interact with his family This was such a different side of him and she loved it. She would have loved to grow up in a family like this. She giggled again as she bought herself back and continued to watch them play their game of bullshit.  
"Try this, son: two threes."  
"Mm-hmm." mark slid back and reclined in the comfortable patio chair and looked at Meredith. "Your turn."  
"One four."  
"Three fives."  
"Bullshit." Meredith said with a gleam in her eye.  
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You see whose name's on top of the board over there?" He asked her.  
"Yes, it says ''Mark,'' with a star next to it." She answered trying to stile her laugher.  
"You still want to bullshit me?"  
Meredith nodded as she went to slip over the cards Mark had just set down.  
"What do we got?" He asked her with a smirk dripping from his lips.  
She laughed a little embarrassed as she turned the cards over. "Three fives."  
"I told the truth!" He chuckled.  
Frank nudged Meredith. "He's good. He's the champ."  
"Ah I see." She smiled.  
"Okay, okay what am I?" Marie chimed in ready for her turn.  
"Sixes." Meredith replied.  
Mark smiled lovingly at her. His family was taking to her well and Meredith was doing great. He had no doubt in his mind that they would love her. It didn't feel like a first meeting it felt like they had been coming to his parents house for years. He loved that they made her feel so welcomed.  
"One six." She said as she set her card down on the table. "You see Meredith, the key to this game is being able to read people."  
"Bullshit. Bull...shit, Mama."  
"Excuse me?"


	15. The Long Way Around

**Chapter Fifteen: The Long Way Around**

Richard Webber walked into his office with his right hand rested between his eyes. He was trying to massage the headache he could feel coming on. Today could not get any worse. Sunday. Sunday's were supposed to be at least a little peaceful. Who was he kidding? Peace in a Hospital? He opened the door to find Addison sitting in the seat across from his desk. He sighed heavily as he closed the door behind him and drew the blinds down. He sat in the seat across from her and folded his arms across his chest. She looked at him sadly and he rolled his eyes. "Addison." He began.  
"No wait chief let me talk first."  
"I know what you're going to say." He said with a heaving sigh.  
Addison sat more comfortably in her chair. She sat back and laced her fingers together.  
"Richard, I'm sorry."  
Richard just shook his head.  
"I came here for all the wrong reasons. I came here chasing after a man I wasn't in love with anymore."  
Richard raised a curious eyebrow. "Look Addison I understand you feel like have nothing here…"  
Addison interrupted. "I don't. I really don't. Mark he doesn't want me. He wants Meredith and so does Derek. He won't say it, but I know it. Derek and I are divorced. I don't have a life here. I want my life back in New York. It won't be the same. It will be extremely different. Very different but I'll be happy. I can move on…"  
"So this is about moving on and being happy?"  
Addison nodded.  
"You can start over here, I need you on my team, You're the best."  
"I'm so sorry Richard." She sighed. "I want New York. I miss my brownstone." She smiled as she stood to her feet. She smoothed out her black skirt, and Richard stood as well. He extended his arm expecting Addison to shake his hand. Instead she walked around the desk and wrapped Richard in a tight embrace. "I'm going to miss you." Richard wrapped his arms around Addison after the initial shocked was gone and smiled into her red hair. He sighed. "You don't have to go you know." They laughed.  
After they broke away she shook her head and smiled. "From now on I'm gonna be singing a different tune."

Derek smiled cheekily as he entered the lightly lit on-call room. His eyes fell on Addison where she laid. She had been waiting for him. She looked up as he entered. "Wipe that grin off your face." She demanded. Derek's smiled widened as he strolled over to her. She swatted his hand away as he went to reach for her. "I didn't call you in here for a quickie." She said firmly.  
Derek's smile fell and he sat down beside her. "Then what?" He asked.  
Addison turned to look at him. He wasn't the man she used to know, he wasn't the same guy she had fallen in love with and married all those years ago. They were both different. She had something to say and she needed to say it.  
"I'm leaving Derek, I'm going back to New York."  
Derek sighed. "Oh." was all he managed to say. He nodded as he got up from the bed and made his way to the door,  
"Oh?" She asked. "That's it? That's all I get? We may not be married anymore but we were. We were married for nine years. I tell you I'm leaving and you say 'Oh'?"  
Derek sighed. "I'm sorry Addison. I'm just I'm not sure what you want me to say. This hasn't been the most wonderful year." He started.  
"Of course it hasn't been Derek, but I expected a little more than an 'Oh' from you. I thought we at least still cared about each other a little bit."  
"I do. I care Addie, I just-"  
The shrilling sound of Addison's pager cut Derek off mid sentence. Addison looked down at her pager and walked to where Derek stood by the door. She took one last look at him before she made her exit  
"What do you want from me Add?" He asked.  
"A reason to stay." She whispered softly under her breath.

Addison dragged herself into her apartment after a long days work she took one look at her sofa and threw herself onto it with a satisfying sigh. Her eyes were beginning to drift close but a knock on her door interrupted the sleeping bliss she was about to endure. She reluctantly removed her self from her spot on the couch and answered the door.  
"Derek?" She asked confusingly.  
Derek smiled and held up the bag of Chinese food. "Hi." He said.  
Addison drew in a deep breath and walked back to the sofa and just like she had done when she first got home she threw herself back on the couch. "What do you want Derek?' She asked irritably.  
"I bought Chinese."  
Addison closed her eyes and nodded her head. "mm-hmm."  
Derek sighed, "I'm sorry about earlier."  
Addison's eyes popped open and she sat up. "Is that egg rolls I smell?"  
Derek chuckled and he walked over to the kitchen counter. "Yes and Sesame chicken." Addison smiled as she got up from the sofa and made her way to the kitchen area of her apartment. She lifted herself onto the island and her legs hung loosely in the air.  
"Derek Shepard, you sure know a way to a girls heart."  
Derek laughed. "Where's the plates?"  
"In the third cabinet." She replied as she stole an egg roll right out of the bag."  
The air filled with satisfying moans escaping Addison's lips as she devoured the food. Derek turned to look at her with a smirk falling into place. Addison sighed as she looked at him, his gaze still on her, Derek finally came out of his reverie and sat next to Addison on the counter. He dug his own hands into the bag and pulled out a box on roman noodles.  
"I think it's good." He said finally after a long silence.  
"What?"  
"You going back to New York. I think it's good." He took a finger full of noodles and stuffed them in his mouth, when he was done he continued. "I was thinking of going back myself but If I went I'd only be running away from my problems."  
Addison snorted. What irony was her life. "What problems?" She asked. She wasn't sure if she was really interested, but she was asking anyway.  
"Meredith and Mark." He sighed. "I mean they aren't really a problem anymore. I'm not sure I care. Meredith seems happy, and Mark seems…."  
"Not Mark like?" Addison said.  
"Derek nodded. "Yeah. This new selfless Mark is.."  
"Weird?"  
Derek laughed. "Yeah. I guess Meredith just brings out the best in people."  
"And I bring out dirty sex."  
Derek let out a hearty laugh. "It might be dirty but it's good." He nudged her shoulder with his.  
"How come we didn't do stuff like this when we were married?" She asked. "We didn't talk like this."  
Derek looked down at his food. "We did at first and then we just got lazy."  
"Marriage was supposed to be easy."  
Derek chuckled. "Who said?"  
Addison shrugged. The smile she had been wearing was now gone and she looked up at Derek. "Was I a bad wife? She asked. "I mean aside from the whole…" Addison wrinkled her face in disgust. "-My bad judgment. Was I a bad wife?"  
"No." He replied. "We just wanted different things. Things happened. I forgave you."  
"You still haven't forgiven Mark."  
Derek sighed. "I'm working on that one."  
Addison rolled her eyes, "He makes mistakes just like any person."  
Derek nodded. "I know."  
Another long silence was taken and Addison spoke again. "Do you ever regret not having children?" She asked.  
"Derek's eyes widened in surprise by her question, but quickly recovered. He shook his head. "No, not really, I mean look at us now." Derek looked back over at Addison, her eyes were brimmed with tears and the look of worry upon her face. "Addison what's wrong?" He asked concern dripping his voice as he tucked a stand of red hair behind her ear. Addison sighed deeply as she leaned forward catching Derek's lips in a chaste kiss. "You should go."  
"But-"  
Addison leaped from the counter and wiped her face. "Good bye." she called out as she walked to her bedroom and slammed it shut behind her.

Mark looked down at Meredith as she slept soundly in his arms, her blonde waves laid out over his chest. He smiled to himself and he kissed the top of her head. He moved slowly and quietly out of bed without disturbing her. He sighed as he walked down the stairs of his parents house and as he got closer he realized the kitchen light was on. When he reached the kitchen he was met with his father sitting at the kitchen table.  
"Pop." He said in a warning tone.  
Frank looked up to see his son standing before him. "What?" He asked innocently.  
"Pop, mom is going to kill you if she sees you eating that."  
Frank threw his hand in the air. "It's just a piece of chocolate cake."  
Mark laughed. "You're gonna get into big trouble." He said as he opened the fridge and sat the milk on the table.  
"How will she know unless you tell stool pigeon."  
Mark laughed again as he set two tall glasses on the table next to the milk and sat himself down.  
"Fine I know nothing but if she asks then well that's a different story."  
Frank rolled his eyes. "Poor the milk boy." He said as he got up himself and returned the table with another fork. He handed it to Mark. "Dig in."  
Mark took the eating utensil from his father and did as he was told. They sat in a comfortable silence finishing the chocolate on chocolate slice of cake.  
When they were done they both reached for their glasses of milk.  
"So why are you up so late?" Frank asked.  
Mark sighed. "I'm not sure I just couldn't sleep."  
"Well is something bothering you?"  
"Kind of. Yeah, I guess."  
"Well tell your old man about it."  
Mark shook his head. "Dad now isn't the time."  
"Oh no? Must be bad."  
Mark thought for a second about telling his father about Aliany, but he decided against it and changed the subject. "So what do you think of Meredith?" He asked.  
Frank smiled. "She's great. Sweet girl, but she likes to keep to herself?"  
Mark nodded. "Yeah she's not really one to wear her emotions of her sleeve."  
"But still you love her." Frank laughed.  
"Yeah pop, I love her." He stated simply his mouth curling into a smile.  
He nodded. "Good. We like her. Don't mess it up." He badgered.  
"I won't pop."  
"I'm just sayin you know because you tend to-"  
"I know pop."  
Frank got up from the table and began to walk out of the kitchen, he turned back to look at mark, he still sat in his place at the table. "I know you know Mark." He half smiled. "I know because you look at her just like I looked at your mother all those years ago. It's true boy, so don't be afraid of it or let it go."  
Mark nodded and smiled back at his father. "Yeah."  
"Oh and don't forget to wash the dishes, oh and make sure you let your mother know you ate the last piece of cake." He laughed.


	16. Ain't seen or heard from you

**Chapter Sixteen: Ain't seen or heard from you**

Mark held onto Meredith's hand tightly as they walked through Central Park. He had never seen Meredith so carefree and light. He watched her has she licked at her ice cream cone catching the dripping ice cream as it melted under the summer heat. She caught him watching her in the corner of her eye. "What?" She giggled  
Mark shook his head "Nothing you just seem happy."  
Meredith laughed and she stopped. She held up her ice cream cone to Mark's lips and he licked it. She smiled at him and replied. "I am happy."  
He kissed the side of her head as he snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her closer as they continued walking. "I'm happy too."  
"Okay." Meredith sighed. "I hate to ruin the moment but.." she trailed off  
"But?"  
"But we have to return to reality soon. Like tonight kinda soon." She sighed.  
"Yeah." He agreed. "Which is why we should take advantage of being here and not in the hospital with all of our crazy friends. No secret wives or baby mama drama." He laughed  
Meredith laughed a little under her breath. "Speaking of babies."  
Mark gave Meredith a questioning look. "Yeah. What about them?"  
"You're a father."  
"Yeah I am, and you know. I always wanted to be like my dad."  
"Yeah he's great." She nodded.  
They reached a nearby bench and Mark pulled Meredith down to sit with him. He held her close as he continued to talk. "I've always wanted to be like him, the way he was with me, we went to ball games, we talked, he taught me how to ride a bike, he bought me my first mit, we took fishing and camping trips. You know he did real dad things with me, and I have Aliany and she's about to turn three years old and has no idea who I even am."  
Meredith ran her hands

"Mom!" Meredith was shocked to see her mother sitting in the living room as she entered the foyer of the house that she let her friends stay in. "What are you doing here?" Meredith asked as her mother pulled her into a tight embrace.  
"Isobel invited me for dinner and we've been having the most interesting conversations."  
Meredith raised a curious eyebrow. "Oh Really?" She asked.  
"About you of course."  
Meredith nodded. "Of course." She said through gritted teeth. She was going to kill Izzie. No better yet. She'd have Christina do it. Christina would kill Izzie and make it look like an accident.  
Izzie made her way into the living room with two coffee mugs. "Oh Mer you're back!" She squealed as she caught sight of Meredith. Izzie carefully set the mugs down onto the table and hugged Meredith tightly. "George and I missed you! Christina did too but she won't admit to it. So how was New York? How's his family did you like them? Tell me everything!"  
Meredith took a deep breath. She was about to explode. What the hell was going on? Her mother was being civil? And having dinner dates with Izzie!?  
"Izzie you've met my mother..."  
Izzie nodded excitedly. "Yeah she's great!"  
"Yeah, yeah she's something."  
"Meredith you should join us. I want to here about your trip to New York and about this new boyfriend of yours the one I haven't had the pleasure of meeting."  
"Don't start mom."  
"Start what? What did I say that was so wrong?"  
"What are you doing here?" Meredith hissed quietly.  
"I came because I wanted to see how you were doing."  
Meredith scoffed. "Yeah right, What's the real reason?" Meredith asked as she folded her arms across her chest. Ellis knew this was Meredith's way of daring her. She had done it since she was three years old.  
Ellis let a chuckle escape her lips. "You know me all to well."  
"Well you're my mother I lived with for eighteen years."  
Izzie cleared her throat bringing her to their attention. "Maybe I should let you guys talk and catch up. I'll just go to the bar or something." Izzie grabbed her jacket and walked out of the house leaving Meredith and Ellis alone. After Izzie's departure Ellis threw herself onto the couch and crossed her legs. "So Meredith you have a boyfriend I hear."  
"I thought we were talking about you mother."  
"Well now we're talking about you."  
Meredith rolled her eyes as she walked to the kitchen. "So what else did you get out if Izzie besides that I have a boyfriend?"  
"You moved in with him and you're obviously distracted at work." Ellis said as she followed behind her daughter. "What is wrong with you?"  
"Nothing is wrong with me." Meredith replied as she took an apple form the basket that laid on the kitchen table. She bit into it and shrugged her shoulders. "You're not going to say anything about me moving out and letting my friends stay in your house? Because I know you're pissed off about that." Meredith said a grin tugging her lips.  
Ellis laughed and shook her head. "Is that why you did it because you knew it would make me mad?"  
"Honestly?"  
"I wouldn't expect anything less than the truth."  
"I didn't even think about you. In fact I never think about you."  
If looks could kill Meredith would had been dead. "I don't think about you either." Ellis replied in a calm tone.  
"Then what's with the act?"  
"It's all about the appearance Meredith. I thought you knew that. But then again." Ellis paused looking her up and down. "Maybe you don't."  
Meredith chuckled softly. "Okay mom cut to the chase you never did answer my question why are you here?"  
Ellis cleared her throat before answering her daughters question. "We don't get along."  
"Never have and probably never will."  
"I have early onset Alzheimer's."  
Meredith stood in front of her mother with her mouth agape trying to process the information. "What? You what?"  
Ellis wrinkled her mouth and crossed her arms. "I came here to spend time with Richard and to tell you both. You…" She paused to compose herself. "I'm leaving you in charge of everything once I'm not able to care for myself or anything anymore. So I need you to concentrate Meredith I need you to grow up."  
Meredith shook her head in amazement. "You're sick, You're sick and you don't even want to amend things between us, you come here and you criticize me…"  
"No I did no such thing. I just don't know how I raised such an ordinary person. You were supposed to be strong and you were supposed to do great things with your life. but instead you are sleeping with one of your residents and your career is slowing slipping though your fingers and you can't even see that. You're weak. You can't have the career and love. Don't you get it? Grow up!"  
Meredith shook her head and tried hard to keep the tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes at bay. She looked at her mother straight in the eyes. "I rather be ordinary and distracted then to be like you."

Meredith couldn't think straight on the way home. Memories flashed through her mind from when she was a child. Her mother cold and distant, always working, Meredith always alone. Whenever she and her mother were together, she seemed to press the self destruct button. She knew Ellis didn't love her father, she knew that when Ellis looked at her all she saw was Thatcher and how broken their marriage was. After Thatcher left Meredith was constant reminder of something that Ellis had failed. Meredith reached her apartment to find it empty. Mark had must either been at the bar or at the hospital letting everyone know they were back. All of a sudden Meredith felt tired. She felt sad and she felt tired. Her heart hurt too. She had just spent the weekend with the most wonderful family she could never imagine having and now she was back to her real life. Her mother managed to suck her dry in a matter of five minutes. She walked into the kitchen and pulled a big bottle out from under the sink. She walked into the bedroom shredding her clothes as she went, she climbed on to the bed and twisted the cap off of the bottle. She looked the bottle over, titled her head back and took a large gulp. It strung at first but she didn't mind, she sighed heavily. All she wanted to do was sit in her self misery.

"Mark."  
"I missed you too Yang." Mark laughed.  
"Where's Meredith?"  
"She stopped by to see Izzie and George. Izzie called her."  
"Uh She what?"  
"She-.."  
"Oh no. This isn't good."  
"What isn't good?" Mark asked confusingly.  
Christina sighed, "Ellis is in town."  
"Ellis Grey?" Mark asked.  
Christina glared at him. "Yeah Ellis Grey, your girlfriends estranged mother." Christina sighed again. "Izzie made friendly with her while you guys were away playing house and now you're back and Ellis isn't gone and if Meredith has seen and talked to her, she's probably home by now sitting with a bottle of Jose Cuervo. Ellis has that affect on her. She's poison."  
Mark looked at Christina shocked. He knew she and Meredith were friends but he haf no idea that she knew so much about Meredith and he really didn't know how much she cared. She was pretty good at pretending she didn't care about anything nor anyone but surgery.  
"What are you doing just standing here? Go!" She pushed him. "Go find Meredith and make sure the devil hasn't gotten to her!"  
"What?"  
Christina rolled her eyes and shoved him again. "If you didn't already know this. Meredith is fragile, she doesn't take conflict very well and where there's Ellis there is conflict. Now go."

Addison!" Derek called out When she didn't stop walking he called her again. "Addison!" He caught up to her and grabbed for her arm causing her to stop. She whirled around to face him. "Yes?"  
Derek caught his breath and his hands drifted to her wrist. He let his gaze linger and Addison grew impatient. "Yes Derek?" She asked annoyance clearly evident.  
"I was just wondering when you were scheduled to leave."  
Addison gave a forced smile and answered. "I'm leaving tomorrow night."  
"It's a little soon don't you think?"  
"I'll be back there's still a lot I have to do here. I'll only be gone for a few days."  
Derek nodded. "Oh."  
"Is that all?" She asked.  
"Uh….-I." Derek paused. He realized he was still holding on to her arms and he released her. "Yeah that's it."  
Addison forced another smile. "Okay then, I guess I'll see you."  
"Yeah."  
Addison turned to walk away. She secretly wished Derek would stop her again but this time with good reason. She sighed. Her time in Seattle really was over with. New York was waiting for her and if she wanted familiarity she knew New York hadn't changed.

"Mer!" Marked called out as he walked into the dark apartment. He saw the light was on in their bedroom and he threw off his jacket, He looked down on the floor and he saw a trail of Meredith's clothing leading to the bed. He sighed a sigh of relief when he saw her cuddled underneath the covers peacefully. He shed his own clothing and climbed into bed with her, kissed her check and noticed it was wet and she whimpered in her sleep. He wrapped her protectively in his arms and willed sleep to come for him soon.

Meredith woke up early the next morning with the help of her alarm. She looked over at Mark who through the night managed to slip to his side of the bed. She got out of bed carefully not to wake him just yet. She walked out into the kitchen and turned on the coffee maker. She bent down to the cabinet under the sink and took a look at the bottle of tequila, she was kind of proud of herself for not drinking herself into a slumber. One sip and it was back in the cabinet. She didn't want to be that girl anymore. Mark's booming voice startled her,  
"Hey."  
Meredith forced a smile. "Hey."  
"So how was Izzie's last night?"  
Meredith snorted as she walked around the counter to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his chest. "It was okay. I ran into my mom there no big deal."  
Mark pulled away from her embrace and forced her to look at him. " You had been crying last night, that's no big deal?"  
Meredith sighed heavily and put her head down. "My mother has early onset Alzheimer's, she told me last night."  
"Mer…"  
"That's not why I was upset though." She paused. "I'm a horrible-"  
"You're not horrible."  
"No you're right. I'm ordinary. I'm ordinary and weak and distracted. Distracted because of you and all of your problems."  
"What? Meredith.."  
"Shut up Mark! You have a kid. You have a kid with Derek's sister and I can't deal with it. I thought I was okay with it but I'm not."  
"Hold on a minute where the hell is this coming from? What did your mother say to you?"  
"The truth. And the truth is that We're kidding ourselves. You should get to know your daughter as much as you can, while she's young and you should have been with her this weekend not me. And we should end this."  
"What?"  
Meredith sighed as tears began to fall from her eyes. Mark tried to wipe them away and she swatted his hand away. "Don't touch me."  
"Meredith….don't do this."  
"I can't. This was to fast and instead of concentrating on you I should be concentrating on surgeries and." She paused. "Not you."

Addison finished putting the last of her things she was taking with her in a box and taped it carefully. She stood to stretch her legs and a knock at the door came. She looked at her watch and wondered who would be coming to see her so late. She opened the door and found Derek standing her doorway.  
"Hi."  
"Hey."  
"Can I come in?" He asked.  
"Um well.."  
Derek looked over Addison's shoulder and caught sight of her nearly empty apartment. The only thing visible was her sofa. "I thought you said you'd be coming back."

Addison sighed and went to speak but nothing came out. Derek looked at her the look of hurt on his face. "I hope things work out for you back in New York." He said before he was ready to walk away. His legs didn't want to move from their spot on the floor but He forced himself to turn around.  
"That's it?" Addison asked her voice barley in a whisper.  
Derek turned around facing her again. "What?"  
"That's it?" She asked again her voice breaking.  
"What do you want Addie?"  
"If you have to ask then…" She trailed off. "Nothing." And she closed the door. She leaned against it and forced back the tears that were threatening to fall. What did she want? She wanted him to look at her the way he used to. She wanted him to grab her and kiss her making the world stop. She wanted his hands to roam over her body in a loving way the way they used to. She wanted him to want her and love her again. A knock startled Addison from her reverie and she was reluctant to open the door. She knew it was Derek again. She hated this dance they had come to do lately. She opened the door and he stood there with his hands in his pockets. "What?" She asked.  
"I can't ask you to stay. If that's what you want…I can't ask you to stay."  
The tears Addison had been holding finally fell out of her eyes. Derek took a hold of Addison's hand and bought her closer, wrapping her in his arms. She pulled away and Derek looked at her tears stained face. "Derek." She sighed.  
"Yeah?"  
"I took a pregnancy test."


	17. Everything I forgot to forget

**Chapter Seventeen: Everything I forgot to forget**

Mark picked up the telephone receiver and spoke into it "Hello?" He asked.  
He heard a shuffle on the other end and spoke again. "Hello?" He said this time a little louder.  
"Hi." The voice was small and it made his heart jump. He smiled into the phone and ran his hand over his beard. He sighed deeply and spoke again. "Hi Aliany. Is this Aliany?" He asked.  
He could hear her giggling on the other end and as clear as day He could hear Chase in the background instructing Aliany what to say. "Say Hi poppa Mark." She told her. Aliany just giggled and he heard another shuffle on the line. "Hello?" Mark 's smile widened. "Hey You."  
"Sorry she's just learning."  
Mark nodded, but remembered Chase couldn't see him and quickly spoke. "Right, yeah it's fine, Thanks for putting her on though."  
"I thought it'd be nice for you to talk to her, you know for her to get to know your voice and everything."  
"Yeah, so how's she doing?"  
"She's great, she's running around you know being a normal two year old."  
Mark laughed. "So what do I owe the pleasure?"  
Chase laughed. "I just wanted to check on you, see how you were. So how are you?" She asked.  
Mark sighed he needed someone to talk to but knew Chase wasn't the right person. Not the right person to talk about his problems with Meredith at the moment. "I'm great, how are you and the dog nurse?"  
Chase gasped in mock shock and went into a fit of laughter. "Don't call him that." She made in between laughs. "His name is Finn you jerk."  
Mark chuckled lightly. "Yeah I know, So how's Finn?"  
"He's good." She replied. "How are things with Derek?"  
"Derek?: Mark laughed out. "You should call him to find out."  
"I'm sensing things are the same as when I left?"  
Mark's pager went off before he could answer her. "Look Chase I'm sorry but I have to go."  
"Wait one second."  
"I ca-" He heard a shuffle on the line just like when he first answered,  
"Bye poppa Mark." He heard Aliany say.  
His heart fluttered in his chest and smiled widely. He was someone's daddy. "Good-bye Aliany."  
Chase took the phone away from Aliany and sighed into the phone. "Okay bye." She said.  
"Bye and thanks again."  
Mark's morning was suddenly looking up.

"You're still going to New York knowing you're pregnant?" Derek asked in a panicked tone. "You weren't going to tell me where you?"  
"Derek.." Addison tried to interrupt. But Derek just kept going.  
"Addison why would you do that? Huh?" His rambling continued as he paced Addison's empty living room.  
"Derek!" She yelled. He looked at her shocked by at her outburst and he slid his fingers through his dark locks.. "What?"  
"I said I took a pregnancy test, I didn't say It was positive."  
Derek looked at Addison blankly. She shook her head as she turned to shut the door. "Derek, I'm not pregnant."  
He looked at her confusingly, the thoughts that just passed through his head now diminished. "You're not pregnant." He said finally after their silence became awkward. Addison shook her head. "So why tell me?"  
She shrugged and let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. "I don't know, I thought you should know I guess."  
"You thought I'd want to know that you took a pregnancy test but weren't pregnant…?" He asked confusingly.  
"If we were still married and this had happened I'd still tell you, what's so different about now?"  
"We aren't married." He stated simply.  
Addison forced a weak smile. "You're right Derek, we aren't married."  
"Did you tell me because you wanted me to-" He stopped mid sentence and walked to the door. "I should go."  
Addison sighed and looked over her shoulder at Derek. "Yeah you should go."  
He turned the doorknob and cleared his throat, he turned back around to Addison and opened his mouth to speak. "I'm sorry."

Derek's look was blank as he walked the halls of Seattle Grace. Everything in his head was jumbled but he remembered clearly his conversation with Addison. He sighed heavily as he caught sight of Mark. Mark who had seemed to have a relationship with every woman in Derek's life. He rolled his eyes as Mark approached him.  
"Chase called, she says 'Hi'."  
Derek nodded. "How's Aliany?" He asked.  
"She's doing great. How are you Shep?"  
They both climbed onto the elevator as Derek's blank look hadn't left his features. He needed someone to talk to. Him and Mark at one point were best friends and they talked, and had beers, fished, and went to strip clubs together he kind of missed it. Just a little. "Confused." He finally answered.  
Mark had no idea if that was an invitation to ask what was wrong, or if that was a hint to him to leave him alone. "Me too." he replied.  
Derek put his hands in the pockets of his coat and looked over at Mark. "So here we are both of us confused."  
"Yup." Mark sighed avoiding Derek's eyes. An awkward silence seemed to take over and Mark cleared his throat. "Okay here's the deal I need someone to talk to." Mark said turning to face Derek. "And I think you do too, so lets pretend to be friends again just for a little while because I seriously need some advice and when we're done we can get off this elevator and go back to pretending like the other doesn't exist. Deal?"  
Derek held out his hand. "Deal, but I think we should have a few beers first at Joe's you know to.." Derek trailed off.  
Mark nodded. "Rip off the band aid…"  
Derek nodded. "Yeah."  
The elevator bell dinged and Derek stepped off ahead of Mark and the doors closed. Mark was left alone and he leaned back against the wall. He was going to have beers with Derek and talk about stuff.

Mark walked into the Emerald City bar with his ands in his leather jacket. He walked across the room coolly where he saw Derek sitting with a drink already in his hand. Mark sat down next to Derek and nodded at Joe. Joe winked and right away bought Mark his regular. Mark sighed a sigh of relief as he swallowed his drink. He turned to look at Derek and he could tell he was just as uncomfortable. Derek spoke first. "Maybe we shouldn't do this."  
Mark quickly agreed "Yeah maybe you're right, small steps, maybe we could watch Sunday's game. I taped it."  
"Stop at the liquor store get a few beers and we could just-"  
"Watch the game." Mark finished.  
"No talking."  
"No talking." Mark echoed.

Addison wiped her eyes dry as she walked out of her office, she looked down the hall and watched as Meredith interacted with her patients family. She looked over her disoriented appearance. Her wrinkled scrubs her dirty blonde hair in it's usual messy ponytail, and she was so tiny. Addison briefly wondered what either Derek or Mark saw in her, but then she heard Meredith giggle and she watched a smile form on her face, her green eyes twinkled a little and Addison stopped comparing herself to Meredith. Although Addison was always dressed immaculately, her red hair fiery and shiny, her make-up flawless, Meredith had something she didn't. She still had that twinkle in her eye, Addison knew she'd never have that again. As Meredith turned to walk away from her patients family she found Addison walking slowly toward her. Meredith braced herself.

"Dr. Grey." Addison smiled a small smile.  
"Dr. She- Montgomery."  
Addison sighed. "Listen Meredith, I just-I would like to apologize for everything and I know that we will probably never become friends but I would like to leave Seattle knowing that I have no enemies."  
"I'm not your enemy." Meredith said simply. "You built me to be your enemy. So if you think that you have an enemy in me than it's built from the guilt you feel, not because of anything I've done. So if you have the need to apologize fine, but I have nothing to say to you for the fact that I have done nothing to hurt you."  
"Meredith you slept with my husband."  
Meredith scoffed. "I had no idea about you until you showed up. Which you loved, but you on the other hand you cheated on your husband with his best friend and then when he didn't want anything to do with you anymore you threw yourself at him while he was with me. BOTH of them." Meredith sighed, "And if this is your idea of an apology you can keep it."

"Derek laughed loudly as Mark fell on his ass before finding the couch.  
Mark looked up at Derek seriously and then burst out in laughter himself. "That hurt."  
Derek laughed again as he attempted to help Mark to his feet. "What were we talking about again?" Mark asked confusingly.  
"Meredith brutally dumping your no good ass."  
"Right! Dude she dumped. She really dumped me. I was gonna marry her you know."  
Derek let go of Mark and Mark fell again. "OW!" He yelled as he hit the floor once more. "Damn it Derek, you could have given me a warning!"  
"You asked her to marry you?"  
"Well no, not exactly, why do you care you're back with Addison. Kind of sort of right?"  
"Wrong." Derek then sat himself next to Mark on the floor and opened another bottle of beer. He sighed heavily and began his story. "She's going back to New York." He said taking another sip from his bottle. He stayed silent for a moment and when he didn't speak again Mark did.  
"And you want her to stay?" He asked.  
Derek shrugged. "I don't know. I can't just ask her to stay." He said.  
"Why not?"  
'I don't know."  
"What the hell do you know Derek?"  
"That I wouldn't be in the position if it weren't for you." He replied harshly as he stared blankly ahead.  
"Can you just let go of it? I said I was sorry. How many times do I have to say it?" He yelled as he tried to get up. His vision was so distorted that he fell again. He cursed himself as Derek began to laugh again.  
"You're an ass." Mark said angrily.  
"I'm an ass? You slept with my wife!"  
"I thought we were over that!? You tried to steal my girlfriend. We're even." Mark chuckled.  
"I loved Meredith you know."  
Mark shook his head. "Then why did you leave her?"  
"Addison was my wife, I felt obligated."  
"Derek I love Meredith." He paused to think of his next sentence. "A lot."  
"Just like you loved Addison. Oh oh and don't forget my little sister. You know what is it with you? Do you have to sleep with every woman I know?"  
"Why don't you shut the hell up you chicken!" Mark growled as he made it to his feet. Derek stood as well just as wobbly.  
"I'm not a chicken!" Derek yelled back angrily.  
"Are too, you can't even tell the woman you love that you love her!" He said as he made chicken noises as he was mocking Derek.  
"You're wrong!" Derek formed a fist and swung a hard as he could hitting Mark right in the face knocking him to the floor. Mark laid on the floor for a second to gain his strength back from the unsuspecting punch and with all the might he could muster he tackled Derek to the floor and in true Derek and Mark fashion they beat the hell out of each other until they were out of beer.


	18. I’m Here

**Chapter: Eighteen I'm Here**

Meredith stared at Derek and Addison as they chatted closely near the nurse's station. It was a little twisted how she kept watching them but she couldn't help herself. She briefly wondered if all the hospital rumors where true. Had they started things back up? She shook the thought out of her head because she knew for a fact Addison was moving back to New York, she had told her herself. She had come to the conclusion that Addison had stopped feeling sorry for herself and decided it was time to move on, if only Meredith could do the same for herself or at least give it her best effort. Meredith sighed and turned away from the sickeningly sweet scene in front of her and walked towards the elevator to continue with her work.

After Derek and Mark's conversation things happened to seem even more confusing. The only thing that was clear was that Mark knew he was still in love with Meredith and he wasn't going down without a fight. He wouldn't just walk away and pretend nothing ever happened. He loved her. He wanted to marry her and that he wasn't going to let go of. She didn't love him anymore than she'd have to tell him that, so when he saw Meredith alone and heading to the elevator he took his chance and ran after her. She'd have to listen to him if they were stuck in the elevator. He had questions that only Meredith could answer.  
_  
No one needs to know how I feel  
No one needs to understand  
Cause they can't have a hold on us  
It's not just any kind of love  
I know when something is too sacred to touch_

He stepped on to the elevator casually pretending not to notice her, his throat suddenly became dry and his palms became sweaty he couldn't ever remember feeling like this. He turned to look at her and she stared directly ahead.  
"Meredith." Mark started.  
"Don't." She said as her eyes stayed fixated on the wall before her.  
He grabbed a hold of her and forced her to face him. He bought his face closer to hers and sighed. "There's just one thing I need from you. I need you to tell me that you don't love me anymore."

_They don't see...  
You're right where  
I want you and  
I think You could be...  
Something that's more  
than expected  
Why let this go all the way  
down from here I'm here _

Meredith's mouth dropped. "You need me what?"  
Mark let go of her and stood in front of the elevator doors. "Just tell me that you don't love me anymore and I'll be out of your life."  
Meredith stared at him begging her lips to form the words. "Mark I don't love you."  
She begged herself not to cry and she tried with all of her being to look away from him but she could. The bell elevator doors opened and she went to walk out, but Mark jumped in front of her causing her to stop.  
"Tell me you don't still love me." He said.  
Someone behind Mark cleared their throat and they both turned to see who it was.

_We both tend to run when we're hurting  
We both tend not to forgive and forget  
The past can't have a hold on us  
For you my heart will give its trust  
I don't ask much of you, just need your love _

Meredith rolled her eyes as her mother and Richard Webber came into view.  
Mark turned his attention back to Meredith. He called her name causing her to look back into his pleading eyes.

_Here you go again, doubting yourself  
For no good reason, you're listening to someone else_

"I love you." She whispered as she dropped the files she carried in her hand. Her eyes began to water as she went to run into his arms. Why did she care what her mother thought? Without Mark she was ordinary and distracted. With him she felt like nothing and no one could get to her. Not anymore. The time away from him was just pure hell she needed his strong arms to hold her up and she'd deal with her mother later.

Mark was just as shocked as Ellis as Meredith fell easily into his arms. He welcomed her and hugged her tightly as he kissed the top of her head. He let out a stifled sob and kissed her face violently. Meredith knew she'd have to explain later but she couldn't pretend she didn't want him anymore and when he demanded she tell him she didn't love him anymore she knew she would have lost him and there would be no going back. She needed him and she knew it wouldn't be easy but they deserved to see what the future held for them. Together.

_They don't see...  
You're right where I want you and  
I think You could be...  
Something that's more than expected  
Why let this go all the way down from here I'm here._


	19. Broken Strings

**Chapter Nineteen: Broken Strings**

Mark smiled softly as he felt Meredith snuggle closer. His arm automatically found it's way around her tiny waist and he pulled her just a little closer. She was finally back in his arms where she belonged and he wasn't letting her go. Meredith stirred lightly in her sleep while Mark laid wide awake. He was excited. It had been exactly two months since him and Meredith had gotten back together and the fourth of July was just a few days away which meant it was almost time for his family to meet his Aliany. It would be the first time he saw her since the first time he had met her and he hadn't even formally met his two and half year old daughter, He was nervous to tell his family but at least he knew he'd have Meredith by his side no matter how his family reacted, and him and Derek seemed to be heading in a good direction, things were slowly putting themselves together but that was what worried Mark, nothing was ever this perfect.

"Oh hey! Just the guy I was looking for, want to get a drink after work?" Derek asked Mark as he stepped onto the elevator.  
Mark starred ahead blankly, he was so deep in thought he hadn't noticed Derek. Derek wrinkled his forehead in confusion and he waved a hand in front of Mark's face to break him from his trance. "Earth to Mark."  
Mark finally came out of his reverie and looked confusingly at Derek. "Did you say something?" He asked.  
Derek shook his head and laughed. "Yeah I asked if you wanted to get a drink at Joe's tonight." Before Mark could answer the elevator doors opened.  
"Markie!" Marie yelled as she grabbed her son and pulled him into a tight embrace.  
Mark turned took look at Derek "I feel sick."

"Christina!" Mark yelled for the intern "Have you seen Meredith?" He asked.  
"Page her." She replied without looking up from her charts.  
"I have and she hasn't answered yet and I have to find her because I have to tell her something important."  
Just then Meredith walked up. "There you go I was looking for you, you paged me?" She asked.  
Mark sighed "Yeah listen.." He started. "Meredith you don't look so good."  
Her face was pale and she had dark circles under her eyes. Where her eyes usually shined today they didn't.  
"I'm fine really." She lied. She had been feeling sick a few days now. But she'd make it through the day. "What was it that you needed to tell me?"  
"Meredith!" Marie yelled.  
Mark sighed deeply. "That…" He said referring to his mother's presence.  
"I feel sick." All of a sudden Meredith was bent over and the contents of her breakfast was all over the hospital floor.  
"Are you okay?" Mark asked as he helped her into a chair. "I knew you didn't look good."  
"I'm fine."  
Mark raised a curious eyebrow. "Your fine? Are you really going to tell me your fine?" Your sick you should be resting."  
Marie smiled. "Did you have anything for breakfast dear?"  
Meredith nodded. I ate…"  
"Cold pizza." Mark finished.  
Meredith glared at him. "I believe she was talking to me." She said looking up at him. "It's just a touch of the flu." She said looking up at Marie.  
Marie chuckled under her breath. "That's not a breakfast honey."  
Meredith smiled shyly. "I was in a rush."  
"What about Friday morning, you-?"  
"Mark." Meredith warned.  
"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked.  
Before Meredith could reply with "I'm Fine." Mark's pager went off. He kissed the top of her head, kissed and hugged his mom and ran off.  
Marie helped Meredith stand and soothingly rubbed her back. "How far along are you?" She asked.  
Meredith looked up at Marie like she was insane "Excuse me?"

"Meredith, Christina and I both have been through this already, what's the big deal? It's one test."  
Meredith shook her head violently. "One test that can change your life forever!" Meredith yelled. "Besides I'm NOT pregnant!"  
"You won't know until you take the test." Izzie said handing her a box. "We're here for you no matter what."  
Christina rolled her eyes and pushed Meredith into the bathroom stall. "Just do it already, or we can take some blood and-"  
Meredith sighed defeated and slammed the stall door behind her, She knew she wasn't pregnant, but to make her friends, and Mrs. Sloan happy, she actually had to pee on a stick.

"Has it been fifteen minutes yet?" Christina asked.  
"I don't know why we're doing this-"  
"Just about." Lizzie interrupted "And By the way Meredith, when was the last time you even got your period? We started to sync up when I moved in with you."  
Meredith stood silently.  
Izzie nodded. "It's time." She said handing Meredith the stick.  
She shook her head. "Uh-uh you look."  
Izzie looked down at the white stick in her hand, "It's negative." She finally said after a few moments.  
Meredith sighed a sigh of relief, or disappointment, She wasn't sure, No it was definitely relief. She shook her head. "okay. Yeah see I- okay." She stuttered  
"How do you feel? Christina asked.  
"I uh I feel fine, I guess I mean I'm not pregnant. You-I mean I was worked up over nothing. I'm not pregnant."  
"Did you want to be?" Izzie asked, she was watching her friend have a mini melt down right before her eyes.  
"I have just been under a little bit of stress you know, with my mom and then getting back together with Mark, trying to figure out what to do." She paused. "I'm not pregnant."  
Izzie's forehead wrinkled with sympathy, "Uh okay I lied." She revealed.  
"What?" Christina sneered. "Give me that." She snatched the stick from Izzie's hand. "You can't read a pregnancy test? Look if the lines are- Oh my god."  
"What?" Meredith asked in a panicked tone.  
"It's positive."  
"But Izzie said..."  
"I just wanted to know how you felt, I didn't mean to lie but you really are pregnant Meredith."

Derek walked off the elevator and over to the nurses station. He smiled at Olivia as she handed him a chart. "Thank you." Olivia nodded as Derek kept walking. He looked up for a second and then bought his eyes back to his patients chart, but he had to do a double take. "Addison?" He called out  
Addison quickly spun around and looked up to Derek who was now approaching her. "New York to much for you huh?" He joked. Addison laughed "No, it's actually going really well."  
"So why are you here?" Derek inquired  
"Richard needs me, I'm only going to be in town for about a week."  
Derek nodded. "Well then we should get together before you leave, you know get a drink or something." He paused "You know." He smiled.  
Addison tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she smiled, she was hesitant to take Derek up on his offer, but agreed to a drink before she left town again.


	20. Truths For Me

**Chapter Twenty: Truths For Me**

"Meredith have you told Mark yet?"  
Meredith whipped around at the sound of Izzie's voice. She sighed heavily before answering. "Not yet."  
"Why not, you do plan on telling him right?" She asked.  
Meredith nodded annoyed. "Yes Izzie, just not now, his family is here-"  
"Which is perfect, they love you!"  
Meredith scowled. "That's not the point Izzie."  
"She Shepard is back!" Christina yelled as she burst into the intern locker room.  
"I was talking to Meredith Christina! And technically she's not a Shepard anymore, they're divorced."  
Christina rolled her eyes "Well whatever, she's back, I thought she went back to New York." She said sitting next to Meredith.  
"Okay seriously who cares, Meredith you have to tell Mark now."  
Christina scoffed. "She can tell him whenever she wants, don't listen to Barbie."  
"Well if it were up to you she'd never tell him, because that worked out so well for you!"  
"Why you little-"  
"Okay! Stop!" Meredith yelled jumping in between her friends. "I will tell Mark when I'm ready, I will, now just stop, stop all of it. I'm pregnant, not you, and not you." She said pointing to both Izzie and Christina. Meredith let out a heavy sigh and walked out of the locker room.

"You're here!" Derek yelled excitedly as he enveloped Chase in loving hug.  
"Yeah we're here." She smiled as she handed her daughter over to her brother.  
"I planned this whole barbeque out by the trailer."  
"You still have that thing?" Addison asked walking over.  
"Addison!" Chase and Addison hugged and reacquainted.  
Derek shook hands with Finn and continued. "Yes." He said looking to Addison. "I still have the trailer and I am throwing a fourth of July barbeque, you can come too Addy."  
"Thanks." She smiled. "Now give me that beautiful little girl!"

"Mmm…" Mark groaned into Meredith's neck. "You smell good, what are you wearing?"  
"Rectal Jelly?"  
"Eh." Mark said making a face of disgust. He laughed and kissed Meredith on the cheek. "What time do you get off?"  
"Eight."  
"Me too. Meet me in the lobby? We can head over to Joe's for a drink before we go home."  
"Oh uh. I've given up drinking." She said seriously.  
"Really?" Mark asked surprised.  
Meredith nodded. "Yup, no more tequila for me."  
Before Mark could get any further he heard someone call out for him. Meredith waved to Chase and Finn as they approached "I better get these labs to Dr. Banks." Meredith smiled sweetly as Mark leaned in to kiss her.

"I'm sorry." Izzie mumbled  
"Excuse me?"  
"I said I'm sorry." Izzie said louder. "It's none of my business when or if you even tell Mark about the baby."  
Meredith rolled her eyes as she threw her sneakers in her locker. "Izzie!" She yelled. "I am going to tell Mark about the baby. He just has a lot going on right now and…" She paused.  
"And what?"  
"I'm scared." She confessed.  
" Mer…"  
Meredith sat down on the bench and put her head in her hands. "I really thought Derek was the one you know?" She sniffled. "But things are so different with Mark, I never thought about having a family before, and now I can't picture myself without him and not having a family, I want Mark to want this baby so badly."  
Izzie wrapped her arms tightly around Meredith and she rocked her. "Mer, Mark is in love with you, you can't beat yourself up with what if's, 'What if Mark isn't the one?' or 'What if Mark doesn't want children.?'"  
"Anymore children, he has one already."  
"Mer, Mark loves you." Izzie assured her once more.

Mark tapped his watch as he stood up from his seat in the waiting area. "You're late." He joked.  
Meredith smiled as she let him take her in his arms. He kissed her lovingly as he rubbed her cheek with his thumb lightly. "You still look a little sick, are you sure you're okay?" He asked. "We can stop for some gingerale on the way home." He suggested.  
Meredith nodded weakly. "Yeah that'll be good. And I think we should talk when we get home too."


	21. Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps

Chapter Twenty-One: Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps

"What? Meredith asked irritably as she walked into the living room. "You've been starring at me like that since the car ride home."  
Mark sat on the arm of the sofa. "Well you said you wanted to talk. Is your stomach better?" he asked  
Meredith nodded. "Yeah I feel a little better," She smiled half heartily. "And I do want to talk." She said fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. Mark pulled on Meredith's arm, pulling her closer to him. "What's going on?" He asked. "Are you breaking up with me?" He joked. Meredith's look was serious and Mark sighed heavily. "This must be big, Is something wrong?"  
Meredith shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not sure."  
"What do you mean?" He asked confusingly.  
"Well." She paused. "I'm just gonna come right out and say it."  
Marked chuckled lightly. "okay then. Say it."  
Meredith stayed silent a moment longer before taking a deep breath and Marked grabbed her hand to reassure her it was okay. "I'm pregnant." She finally choked out.

Derek smiled widely when he saw Addison walk into the restaurant. He watched the hostess she lead Addison to the table. Derek stood up as Addison approached and enveloped her into a hug. He breathed in her hair and if it was possible she smelled even better than he remembered. Addison sighed a sigh of relif when Derek finally let her go. She smiled at him as she took her seat across from him. "This place is nice," She finally said. Derek smiled. "I ordered some red wine for you." Addison nodded. "Thanks, so how is everything?"  
"Things are alright. I'm thinking of taking a few weeks off to visit Sam." Addison rolled her eyes playfully. "Sam huh?"  
Derek laughed. You'd be a bonus." He said pouring wine into Addison's glass.  
Addison looked down into her lap and sighed heavily. "Listen Derek, I think maybe we should talk."  
"We are talking." He smiled.  
"No, I mean I think we should talk about what happened before I left." She replied firmly.  
Derek took a sip of wine, sat back in his chair and stared back at Addison. "There's nothing to talk about." He said simply. "Let's leave what happen in the past. Let's enjoy tonight."  
Addison rolled her eyes. "I thought I could talk to you, I think I should just leave."  
"Wait Addison come on you're not being fair."  
"I'm not being fair? Derek, I, I." Addison sighed defeated. "This wasn't a good idea." She said sympathetically. "I knew this was going to happen, You never want to face anything, You're always running away."  
"I'm not the one who ran away to New York." He said in a angry hushed tone.  
"I didn't run Derek, I went back home. You ran when you came to Seattle." She said calmly as she got up from the table grabbing her clutch bag. Addison took a last look at Derek as he stayed in position before she walked out of the restaurant. Derek just sat back almost regretfully watching her retreating figure.

Chase knocked lightly and waited for someone to answer, she wasn't sure why but she had been surprised to see Meredith answer the door. Chase smiled before greeting Meredith. "Is Mark home?" She asked. Meredith shook her head, before realizing not actually answering her was impolite. "Um No, he left early today."  
Meredith looked down when she head a squeak of some sort only it wasn't a squeak it was Aliany crying out for her mother. Meredith was caught off guard at the tiny child standing at Chases' feet. Chase bent down to pick Aliany up. Meredith smiled weakly. "She's so cute."  
"Thanks, Look anyway I'm sorry to bother you, can you just let Mrk know that we stopped by."  
"Yeah, I'll let him know when he comes home." If he comes home.

"Derek! Derek!" Mark yelled as he banged on the door to the trailer. Derek angrily got out of bed and walked over to the door and swung it open. "What the hell are you doing here?" He asked confusingly and deeply annoyed that his sleep was interrupted. "Meredith's pregnant." Derek felt his heart drop into his stomach, but quickly gained his composure. "What? Are you sure?"  
Mark nodded still stunned himself. "Yeah, she told me last night."  
Derek heard Addison moan as she began to stir in her sleep. He was surpised Mark hadn't woken her, Derek quickly closed the trailer door and stepped outside and pulled Mark over to a picnic table he had set up for the barbeque later that day. "What did you say?" Derek asked  
"I uh I said 'Okay.'"  
Derek smacked Mark in the back of the neck. "Ow!" Mark yelled. "What the hell?" Mark glared at Derek as he rubbed the back of his stinging neck.  
Derek sighed. "You idiot, 'Okay'? Really Mark?"  
"I know, what do I do? How do I fix this?" He asked panic setting in his voice. Mark didn't want to lose Meredith again. He wasn't sure he could take it once more.  
'Well what did she say exactly?"  
"Nothing. After She told me she went to bed, she didn't say anything else, and I went to Joe's for a drink, or six."  
Derek rolled his eyes and shook his head. "So what are you going to do?"  
Mark thought for a moment before answering. "Ask her to marry me." Mark stated simply.


	22. Jesus take the wheel

Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill. I know it took forever to update but I hope you enjoy.

Chapter Twenty-Two: **Jesus take the wheel**

Mark fumbled with the key as he turned it to open the front door to the apartment. "Mere- uh, Mom, Dad." Mark was shocked to see his parents sitting in his living room. "What are you guys doing here?" He asked as he threw his keys on the island in the kitchen. "They came by while you were out." Meredith replied coldly as she walked back into the living room to join them. "Hey babe." He said making his way over to her. Mark bent down to kiss Meredith lightly but she turned away, he then turned his attention to his parents. "Uh so what's up? What brings you guys over here?"  
"Your mother thought it would be nice if we went over to Derek's together." Frank answered.  
"Yes, it's so nice that you boys are still friends, I remember when you boys were in grammar school. Oh Mark have you seen Chase? She's so grown up and she has the cutest little girl."  
"You saw Chase?" He asked trying to keep his composure. He sighed heavily. "Did you speak to her?"  
"Yes, only for a little while." Marie smiled. "It'll be nice to catch up at the barbeque."  
"Yeah I can't wait." He smiled through gritted teeth. Meredith rolled her eyes at Mark but in turn smiled sweetly at his parents. "I'll just grab a jacket and we can get going."

* * *

Derek smiled into Addison's hair as he held her close. He was beginning to get that feeling back, He forgot what it was like to love her, He felt he was truly starting to forgive her. He spun her around and kissed her lovingly as he ran his fingers through her red tresses. "You're in a good mood."  
Derek nodded. "Yes I am." Addison laughed.  
"And you Addison Montgomery Forbes have everything to do with the smile on my face."  
Addison smiled as she touched his face lightly. They had tried this once and it had been a disaster. She wasn't sure she could handle the story of her and Derek once more, besides her life was back in New York, and deep down she knew He'd never leave Meredith.  
"Guess what?" His eyes gleamed with eagerness. Addison raised an eyebrow. "What?" She asked.  
"Mark is going to propose. Meredith's pregnant."  
There it was. Addison sighed as she folded her arms across her chest. "And how do you feel about that?"  
"How am I supposed to feel? I was hurt at first I admit, but I've let Meredith go." There was a silence as Derek walked inside the trailer. Addison followed behind him. "I supposed you want to know what I'm thinking?" Addison finally asked. Derek turned to face her. He sighed deeply waiting for her to continue. "I think they are definitely in over their heads, but I also think that it can work, I think they love each other, much more than we could ever love them."  
Derek cleared his throat. He avoided asking the question and she avoided answering what she knew he'd wanted to ask. "Do you still love him?" Addison took in a deep breath and walked closer to Derek. "We shouldn't do this." She whispered.  
"Do what?" Derek asked with his head tilted slightly wearing a slight frown. "Get our feelings all involved."  
"You don't think they are already?" Derek asked bringing his face closer to hers. She smiled knowingly awaiting his lips to touch hers.

* * *

Derek smiled sweetly as he kissed the top of his sister's head. "That jacket is a little big for you, don't you think?" Chase rolled her eyes playfully and laughed. "It's Finns." She smiled. Derek nodded. "Right."  
"What do you want? I know you want something." Chase laughed again as she finally finished putting the table cloth on the picnic table. Derek laughed along with her "I forgot the beers." He smiled "Do you think Finn would mind going to the liquor store?" Chase laughed again and nodded. "I'll go with him."  
"If you want you, you can leave Aliany here." Derek said looking over at her as she ran through the grass trying to entrap a butterfly. Chase smiled at the sight of her daughter. "Yeah, let me go find my husband to be and we'll be back before you know it." Chase walked closer to the trailer where she last saw Finn .  
"I told you to stop calling me." She heard Finn whispered harshly. She found him in the back of the trailer.  
Chase cleared her throat "Sorry to interrupt but we have an errand to run, Derek forgot the beer, I told him we'd run to the store for him." Finn spun around at the sound of Chase's voice and he shut his phone quickly.  
Finn nodded. "Okay." He smiled weakly.  
"Who was that?"  
"No one." He walked closer to Chase and kissed the top of her head as he dug in the jacket pocket she was wearing and pulled out the car keys. "Let's go."

They were silent as they drove, the radio was playing softly as the car came to a stop. Finn sat his phone in the cup holder as he dug in his pants pocket for Derek's money. "I'll be two seconds."  
Chase sat in the car patiently as she waited for Finn to come back. She sat bored, she picked up Finn's phone in search of a game to play. A noise came from his phone indicating a new incoming message and there the screen popped up. _I'm missing you crazy babe. 3 Can't wait until you get back xoxo Lexi_  
Chase's brow furrowed in anger, What was Lexi doing texting Finn? Lexi was Finn's assistant, she made all of the appointments, helped with the animals, and her and Chase were friends, or at least she thought. What the hell was she doing telling Finn she missed him? Her thoughts were broken when Finn opened the back door on the passenger side and sat the beer in the back seat. When Finn finally settled in on his side and began driving back to the trailer. He looked over at Chase and saw the tears on her cheek. "Baby what's wrong? What happened?" He asked keeping his eyes on the road and his right hand on her knee to comfort her. She swatted him away and began to recite the message out load, and then she went into his outbox and read the messages he had sent her. Finn balled up his fist in anger and his face flamed. "What the hell were you doing going through my phone!?"  
"What the hell are you doing sending those kinds of messages to Lexi?" She yelled back as she hit him repeatedly. "Damn it Chase! I'm driving! You act like you're so high and mighty remember you were the one who got pregnant at nineteen and lied!" Chase cried harder and she hit him again this time in the face. Finn abruptly stopped the car on the bridge and he grabbed a hold of Chase and shook her violently. "You are not stronger than me!" He yelled into her face. "Stop hitting me! She's nothing okay? It means nothing!" Horns were honking all around them but Finn didn't care, They would just have to wait.  
Chase could hardly talk between her sobs. "How long?" She finally managed. Finn took in a deep breath. "It doesn't matter I broke it off before we came here, I fired her." He lied. Finn's eyes began to water. "I can't lose you." He began to cry as he pulled her into a hug. Chase closed her eyes tightly as she let herself fall into his arms. She loved him so much why would he do this? Was all she could ask herself. Chase finally opened her eyes as she began to pull away, all she heard was the sound of metal crushing and glass shattering and everything faded to black as water began to fill her lungs.


	23. Linger in Silence

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Linger in Silence**

Derek looked down at his watch as Mark's car approached. Derek walked over to the car as Mark got out with his family following. "It's a great day to barbeque huh Shep!" Mark laughed as he got closer. Derek's forehead wrinkled with curiosity as he wondered again why Chase and Finn hadn't come back yet. Derek sighed. "Did you guys happen to run into Chase and Finn on your way here?" He asked. Meredith shook her head. "No why? What's going on?"

"I sent them to the liquor store about an hour ago and they aren't back yet."

"Well Mark had to take a detour on the way here, there was an accident right on the bridge, maybe they're stuck in traffic," Marie tried to calm him.

"Did you call her cell phone?" Mark offered

Derek shook his head. "She told me earlier that she left her cell phone back at the hotel and I don't have Finn's number."

"Derek!" Addison came running out of the trailer with Alaiany in her arms. "Derek you've got to get in here!" Derek's heart began to race as he ran to Addison. "What!? What's wrong?" He asked in a panic. Everyone followed after Derek, they all stood around the small television in trailer as they watched as a 2006 metallic blue Toyota Camry was pulled out of the river. Addison looked up at Derek as she watched his eyes become dark.

"_Investigators say alcohol could have played a factor in the 3:00 p.m. fatal car crash. Police say 29-year old Joshua Witter of __**Seattle, Washington**__ lost control of his truck, and hit a car in the middle of the Seattle BridgeWitter was thrown from the truck as it flipped a total of two times. Then was pinned under the wreckage.__Witter was able to crawl out to safety. The other two passengers involved in the crash have not yet been identified, they were thrown into the river from the impact of the crash."_

Everyone stood silently not sure of what to do, or what to say. They all knew that the car they watched being pulled form the river was Finn's and deep down they knew that there was no way they survived the crash. The shrilling sound of Derek's pager shook them all from their thoughts. Derek's eyes filled with tears as he pushed passed Mark and stormed out of the trailer. He yelled into the air as he fell to his knees with his head buried in his hands. Mark walked up behind him and tried to pull Derek to his feet. "You don't know that it was them." He said calmly trying to convince Derek and himself as well. Derek ripped himself away from Mark's hold and dug into his pocket for his car keys, once his keys were in hand he jumped in his car and sped off.

Derek knew that son of a bitch that hit his sister's car would be brought to Seattle Grace hospital, it was the closer than Mercy West and everyone knew they had the best ER. Richard spotted Derek as he stormed into the hospital. Richard hurriedly walked over to Derek. "Shepherd! I have a 29 year old male

He was in a car accident with a SDH." (**subdural hematoma)**

Derek's eyes widened as Webber went to hand him the chart. "Where is he?"

"Here's his chart."

"Where is he!" Derek screamed. Richard's forehead wrinkled. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I am am going to ask you one more time Richard where is he?"

* * *

Meredith ran her fingers through Mark's hair as he sat her on his lap. The day had been long and awful. They watched Derek crumble right before them. Finn and Chase were both pronounced dead on the scene. The day was supposed to be fun, full of old and new friends chatting, drinking, playing games, they were all supposed to watch fireworks, the day was going to be filled with surprises but instead it was filled with nothing but tragedy. Mark leaned into Meredith's chest and sighed deeply. He didn't know what to was exhausted, he was full of sadness, his body and mind were tired. All he could think about was Aliany. What was going to happen to her now?  
"I think you should think about taking Aliany." Meredith said as if reading Mark's mind.  
Mark nodded into her chest as he pulled her in closer. She felt his shoulders shift and then a quiet sob escaped his lips. Meredith wrapped her arms around Mark and let him cry into her. She felt so horrible. She hadn't actually had a conversation but everyone around her loved her, and was affected by her death and all she could think of was the child they laid down to sleep in their bedroom. She was now without her mother, but if she could help it Meredith would make sure she was never without her father again.  


* * *

  
Meredith woke up the nest morning without the usual security of Mark's arms wrapped around her. She tiptoed quietly down the hall into the bedroom and the sight before tugged at her heart. Aliany was nestled into the crook of Mark's neck and her blond curls clung to her face. She smiled only for the reality of the situation to hit her. Meredith walked back out into the hall just as the phone began to ring. She picked it up to Mark's mother on the other end. "Hi Marie."  
"Hello sweetheart, Is Mark available?"  
"Actually he's-" Meredith felt a tap on her back and Mark sleepily motioned for her to hanf him the phine. "Right here." She finished.  
"Hey mom, listen I need you and dad to come by the apartment around six, I have a few things t do today but I have something really important that I need to tal to you guys about." Meredith couldn't hear what Marie had said on the other line but she guessed she'd said they'd come. Mark hung up the phone and new lines on his face were visible. He bent down to wrap her in his arms, but the soud of Aliany's cry stopped him. He looked down at Meredith with tired eyes and turned to walk back to the bedroom to console his daughter.


	24. I hate this part

The end is nearing guys! I hoe you enjoyed the last three post!

**Chapter Twenty-Four: I hate this part**

Mark paced the apartment as he awaited his parents arrival. "What are you so worried about?" Meredith asked as she helped Aliany's shirt over her head and smoothed out her hair. "You know no matter what they are going to love her, yeah they'll be upset and shocked at first but look at her," Meredith said motioning over to the child sitting on the couch. A knock on the door came and Meredith gave Mark's hand a reassuring squeeze. "It'll be alright, I'm right here." She smiled at him. Mark answered the door to see his parents standing In front of him. He ushered them in and they sat on the couch. Meredith Picked Aliany up and sat her on her lap. Mark stood in the middle of the living room in front of his parents. "I don't think there is any need for small talk, I think I should just come right out and say it." He sighed deeply. Marie and Frank looked at each other curiously before turning back to Mark. "Derek is really taking Chase's death hard." They nodded understandably. "So Meredith and I have Aliany."  
"Mark what is this all about?" Frank asked.  
Mark's eyes shifted to the floor and his heart began to race. He was beginning to feel sick. "Aliany will probably be living with me, because I'm her father, I didn't tell you guys because I only just found out myself, there are a lfew missing peieces but with Chase's death Meredith and I have decided to eaise her together."  
"As your child? You want to adopt her?"  
Mark took in a sharp brethe, "No mom, I am Aliany's father. Chase and I were together a few years back and she left when she found out she was pregnant, I didn't find out until she came up here a few months ago. I know this is really big news and you're shocked and I'm sorry to drop this bomb on you but there it is. There's your granddaughter." He said as he walked over to Meredith and picked Aliany up. She giggled as Mark swept her up in his arms.  
"Mama." She began to cry. "My mama." Mark kissed the top of her head and he began to comfort her.

* * *

  
_I will remember you  
Will you remember me?  
Don't let your life pass you by  
Weep not for the memories  
_  
He stood in the back of the commentary with Aliany at his feet. He was telling her stories of her mother when they were children and even though he knew she didn't understand what was going on he continued to talk. Tears were falling down his face violently as he was trying his best to get the courage to face his sister's funeral. The pain was all so great and having to see his sister lying in the casket he helped his mother pick broke him. He would have to actually have to watch her be buried six feet under the ground. He wasn't sure he could do it.  
"Derek" Addison whispered to him. He nodded his head as he held tightly onto Aliany's hand.  
"It's almost time." Mark chimed in and Derek turned to look at everyone..  
"I know, I know, I just don't want my mother and my sisters to see me this way I have to be strong for them."

_Remember the good times that we had?  
I let them slip away from us when things got bad  
How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun  
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one_

"It's okay Derek." Addison whispered as she rubbed his back. "You're hurting too."  
"You're allowed to feel sad Derek, I'm sad too." Mark reassured.  
Derek sighed heavily "Okay, I'm ready." He said as he handed Aliany over to Mark and he picked her up into his arms. And then they all started to walk to the burial site. Addison held his hand and they fell behind. They walked in silence. Addison didn't dare ask her how he was doing. She knew. they all knew. They all felt it. It wasn't something he did with ease. It was Chase, his youngest sister and she was gone. He could barely handle it. Nothing seemed to make sense, nothing was okay and it wouldn't be ever again.

_I will remember you  
Will you remember me?  
Don't let your life pass you by  
Weep not for the memories_

Derek stood beside his mother who was even more heartbroken than anyone could imagine. Carolyn  
Had lost her daughter,. They listened as the minister gave his eulogy for Chase and then he walked to her casket. He closed it and Carolyn flinched and quickly closed her eyes.. It really was too much. It hurt her heart because she was so young, and she had left behind a child of her own.

_I'm so tired but I can't sleep  
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep  
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word  
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard_  
_  
But I will remember you  
Will you remember me?  
Don't let your life pass you by  
Weep not for the memories_

Moments later the funeral was over. Chase's casket was left on the top of the earth, waiting to be buried. "We'll give you some time." Mark said as he and everyone else walked off leaving Derek to recollect himself, he needed to say goodbye on his own.  


* * *

  
Marie smiled widely when she was greeted with Meredith at the door. "May I come in dear?" She asked. Meredith nodded. "Of course, but Mark isn't here." She told her.  
"Oh I know, I talked to him earlier, he told me he was talking Aliany to the park."  
Meredith nodded. "So you're here to see me?" She asked.  
"Yes I am. I didn't have the time to speak with you this morning because well you know." She shook her head as she remembered Chase's funeral. "I just wanted to speak to you one last time before Frank and I leave tomorrow."  
"Oh okay." Meredith fiddled with the hem of her shirt nervously. "Uh would you like anything? Coffee or water, juice maybe?" She asked.  
Marie took Meredith's nervous hands in hers. "You know Mark is a different man and it's because of you. You make him brave Meredith Grey." Meredith smiled nervously. "I have a feeling that you will both be alright, being parents won't be easy, but you'll get it, you'll ake a lot of mistakes but you'll learn from them. With every death a life is born."  
Meredith nodded. "Yes, I've heard that."  
"And although Chase's death is tragic, it was her time, the outcoe is yours and Mark's child's birth and also the birth of a new family. Mark, yourself, Aliany and your unborn child."  
Marie sighed. Remember things happen for a reason and although Frank and I were shocked by Mark's news the other day we welcome it, we welcome her, and we welcome you." Marie enveloped Meredith into a tight embrace. "I just needed to let you know, you seemed so worried, but I assure you everything will turn out just fine. Don't you worry about Derek, he will be fine too. Everything just takes time."  
Marie stood up to leave and Meredith followed her to the door. "I suppose the next time I see you will be at Thanksgiving." She smiled. "Maybe a wedding band will be on the ringer." She smiled as she walked out the door. 


	25. Details in the sheets

**Chapter Twenty-Five: Details in the sheets**

Addison looked over at the nightstand that the clock laid on and sighed as she looked at the time. She had to be on a plane in five hours. She rose slowly and crept to the bathroom without disturbing Derek, she looked in the mirror and she splashed cold water on her face. She couldn't understand what was wrong with her. She sighed as she went back and forth in her head. Should she stay or should she go? He hadn't asked her to stay so why would she? She was settled back in New York, It was where she wanted to be…or was it? After taking another deep breath, she wrapped her hand around the knob of the door and pulled it open, she was surprised to see Derek sitting up in bed. "Did I wake you?" She asked sympathetically Derek shook his head. "No, I can't sleep." Addison's face fell, she hoped he wasn't having another nightmare about Chase. "Do you want to talk about it?" She asked as she sat down on the bed beside him. Derek shook his head once again as he looked into her eyes. "I know you have to leave tomorrow." He looked over at the clock. "Today…in a few hours rather." Addison laid her hands in her lap. "Yeah." She snorted. Derek smiled at her lovingly and sighed. Addison smiled back. "I guess we should try to get some sleep." Derek just looked at her as he grabbed a hold of her hand, he pulled her in closer to him and kissed her sweetly, Addison knew where they were headed and knew it was a bad idea. The rational part of her brain told her this every time, but she let him slide the straps of her nightgown from her shoulders. It fell to her waist exposing her naked breast, they continued kissing and as it became passionate, Derek tangled his fingers in her hair as he leaned into her, allowing herself to fall backwards onto the mattress. Derek gently lifted her hips, pulling her nightgown off and letting it fall to the floor. He quickly discarded his pants and boxers and climbed onto the bed over her. He used his fingertips to slip her panties down her legs. Once free from them, Addison spread her thighs allowing him to lie between them. Entering her slowly Derek realized this would be the first time in a long time that he and Addison would be making love. She tilted her hips towards him giving him the silent permission to continue, he looked down at her with eyes soft, and he saw that her eyes were closed. he called out her name softly coaxing her to open her eyes, Addison finally obliged and met his gaze, Derek had to take a breath, so intense was the sensation when they met. Their bodies moved together, like a slow dance. And then he began to penetrate harder into her, and he lowered his head and placed his lips onto hers. They took the time to become familiar with each other's bodies again, and together they found their rhythm. Addison entwined her legs around Derek's back and he felt her tightening inside. He just loved the way her breath escaped her in tiny sobs and gasps as he filled her, the way her eyes darkened and her face flushed. He leaned down again and claimed her mouth with his, before moving his lips to trail down her neck. her breath was coming faster and he breathed slowly, willing his body to behave, as he felt her start to climax around him. She was saying his name, urging him on. He waited, almost painfully, until he felt her start another orgasm, before he finally buried his face in her neck. He stayed inside of her a minute, trying to catch his breath, before he realized he was still on top of her and rolled to his side. He glanced over at her, her chest was still heaving, and her eyes closed. He pulled her over, into the crook of his arm and she didn't protest She turned on her side and rose up on his chest, to look down and smile at him. Derek smiled back, kissing her again. When they parted he caught his breath _"I love you."_ was the last thing Addison heard before she closed her sleepy eyes.

* * *

"Where's mama?" Aliany asked as she looked up at Mark. His heart raced and he wrinkled his forehead in confusion, He had no idea what to say, she was to young to understand death. He bent down to sweep her up into his arms and kissed her cheek. "Would you like to spend time with Izzie today?" He asked avoiding her question. "She has a lot of fun things planned for you." Aliany shook her head violently. "No!" She screamed. "I want mama!" She began to cry. Mark sighed heavily as Izzie looked on sympathetically. Izze walked closer to Mark and reached for Aliany. "Your mama is in heaven. Do you know what heaven is?" She asked. Aliany starred blankly. "Why don't you come with me and I will tell you all about it, I have lots of toys too." Izzie smiled. Aliany hesitantly took Izzie's hand as she sniffled. Izziie looked up at Mark. "Go on, I've got her." She assured. "Aliany." Mark called out softly. She turned around with the mention of her name. "I love you, I'll see you in a little while." she didn't respond and continued walking into the house. Mark sighed defeated as he closed the front door.

* * *

Mark walked into the bar and sat on a stool in front of Joe. He smiled weakly. "The usual?" Joe asked. "Scotch single malt?" Mark nodded. "Throw in a shot of tequila too." At Mark's request Joe appeared before him with his drinks. Mark downed his shot first, it burned his chest a little first, and then it made his throat numb, but he didn't mind. He began to sip on his scotch, he saw a girl out of the corner of his eye sit on the stool next to him. He couldn't help but look over, he was curious as to see the face of the woman ordering a Screaming Orgasm. Now if he were single he'd say something witty, but instead he chuckled and rolled his eyes. He motioned for Joe for one more glass. The girl turned to him and smiled weakly. "Drowning your sorrows?" She asked. Mark looked over at her. "Isn't that why we're all here." He said referring to everyone in the bar. "Aren't we all trying to escape reality?"  
The woman smiled. "I suppose." She said.  
"What are you in for?" Mark asked taking a sip from his glass. The woman sighed and looked down at her glass before downing it. "Someone I knew died a few days ago, I didn't even make it to the funeral."  
"Oh, I'm sorry." He said. "I know exactly how you feel. Why didn't you make it to the funeral?"  
"I felt to guilty. I did something that I shouldn't have and I just couldn't face it." She sighed. "I'm sorry, I'm pouring my heart out to you and I don't even know you." She laughed.  
"Well let's change that. I'm Mark." he said extending his hand out to her. She smiled. "I'm Lexi."  
"Let me buy you a shot Lexi."  
Lexi scooted closer to Mark and smiled seductively. "What's your poison?" He asked.

Lexi giggled as she fumbled with the key to her hotel room as Mark nibbled on her neck. "I don't usually do this." She said before Mark's lips silenced her He kissed her aggressively. Breaking their kiss for a second he lift her shirt over her head and tossed it to the side. His lips captured hers once more and she could taste the liquor on his breathe. The sound of Mark's cell phone ringing caused them to break apart. "Don't answer it." She pleaded and they went back to tearing each other's clothes off, but then Mark realized it could be Izzie, something could be wrong with his daughter, or it could be Meredith…."Meredith!" He yelled. He pulled away from Lexi's hold. "Shit!" He cursed himself. "Shit." He repeated.  
Lexi looked up at Mark confusingly. "What?" She asked.  
"Shit, I have to go, I'm sorry." He said pulling his shit on." "I have a girlfriend."  
"It's just one night." Lexi scoffed. Mark sighed exasperatedly. Mark threw on his leather jacket and took out his cell phone to check his missed calls. It was Meredith. He felt the deep pang of guilt wash over him. He shut his eyes tightly as he slammed the hotel door on his way out, and suddenly he felt like he hadn't changed at all. He quickly called Meredith back and made up some excuse to tell her. When their phone call ended he told her he loved her.


	26. AN

I finally have my internet back and I am working hard on ending this story! I am sooo SORRY it has taken so long but I promise within the next few days one or two chapters will be up! Thanks for sticking by this story it means a lot!


	27. Crash and Burn

I know it's short but I'm going to try to update tomorrow!

Chapter Twenty-six: Crash and Burn

"I thought you didn't have to work today." Meredith said walking out into the kitchen. Mark looked over at her from his cup of coffee. "The chief called, He only needs me for a few hours and after that I'm all yours." He smiled. Meredith laughed. "I'm going to see my dad today." Mark raised a curious eyebrow. "Thatcher's in town?" Meredith nodded. "Yes and apparently He has a wife and two daughters that I have never met." She sighed. "I'm going to meet one of my sis-father's daughter's today…" She paused. "And you needed me to go with you?" Mark asked. Meredith shook her head as she reached for a mug in the cabinet. "No, I don't need you to come but I wanted you to." She looked at Mark over her shoulder. Mark sighed heavily. "Mer, I'm sorry, why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because I wasn't sure I was even going to go." Mark walked over to Meredith and snaked his arms around her waist. "Family is important to you and I'm trying…" Mark kissed Meredith on the forehead and he held her face in his hands. "I love you, you know that right?"

Meredith nodded. "Yeah I know. I love you too"

Mark patted her stomach lightly as he bought his face lower to kiss her stomach. "I gotta get going" Meredith smiled weakly. "Okay." Mark bought himself back up to face level and bent down to kiss her sweetly. "Call me later."

Meredith nodded. "I will."

* * *

The rain was heavy when Derek made it to her house, the fat drops splattered insistently onto his skin as he hurried from his taxi to the front door of her home. The home they once shared. He looked for the hide-a key he knew she kept and once found he entered the house. The house was dark, but it felt like her. Stylish and high-spirited. The air that curled around him now was comforting. He hadn't realized how much he actually missed this place. He walked through the quiet house, turning on a few of the lights. Listening to the thunder. She shouldn't have to come home to darkness As he walked around the quiet house he tried not to wonder how long it would be until she came home. He was beginning to become anxious. It had felt like it had been forever since he kissed her, but in reality it had only been a few hours ago.

He looked down at his watch as he paced back and forth in the living room, he sighed heavily as his heart pounded in his chest. He looked up as he heard the sound of jingling keys and then he saw her. The nerves he felt suddenly disappeared and were replaced with excitement. Addison placed her luggage by the front door and when she looked up she noticed her living room light was on. Derek walked into the foyer and smiled lovingly at her. Her hair was wet and her mascara was running from being caught in the rain. When she saw Derek she was in a state of shock but it was quickly replaced with confusion. They made their way to each other and Addison was the first to speak. "What are you doing here Derek?"

"I love you Addison." Addison's eyes fluttered. "What?"

"I love you, I've loved you for. Ever."

"Wha-How?." Addison stuttered looking up at Derek. Derek took his index finger under her chin and bought her face to his. "I love you Addison. Forbes Montgomery and I want to try again, this time we know what mistakes not to make, I want to be with you and I know you want to be with me too, you can't make love the way we did and-"

"That was good-bye Derek." Addison was finally able to form an entire sentence.

"No." Derek shook her head. "It was a new beginning."

Addison's eyes filled with water when she opened her mouth to speak. "What about Meredith?" She asked.

"What about Meredith?" He asked

"Your life is in Seattle?"

"My life is wherever you are." He smiled. Derek sighed. "Stop fighting me on this. It took me a little while but I'm right back where I belong."

"In New York?" She asked. "No." Derek smiled. "With you." He said leaning gown to claim her lips.

* * *

"I'm looking for um Doctor Mark Sloan?"

That voice sounded so familiar. Mark looked over at the nurses station with the mention of his name. Christina looked at the dark haired girl questioningly. "And you are?" Before Lexi could answer Mark rushed over to Lexi and smiled weakly. "What are you doing here?" He asked. He grabbed onto her arm and dragged her into a corner. "what are you doing here?' He asked again. "Wait how did you know where I worked?"

"To answer your first question. I'm here to return this." She said pulling a small velvet box out of her purse. "You were in such a rush the other night you hadn't realized you dropped it, you said you had a girlfriend you didn't mention you were going to propose." Mark took in a deep breathe as he snatched the box from Lexi. "I was actually going to take it back home with me, but my conations got the best of me. And Two; you told me you were a doctor here." Mark sighed "Okay well thank you have a nice life." Lexi laughed lightly. "You know you're a lot more uptight than I remember." She said leaning into his chest. He removed her hands from him politely. "Look, I made a mistake, okay? You returned my ring, which I'm grateful for, but you being here can get me in a lot of trouble, so I need you to leave."

Lexi looked down at her watch. "I'm late for a lunch date anyway." She smiled snidely. Mark sighed a sigh of relief as he watched Lexi walk towards the elevator, the ringing of his cellphone startled him. He reached in his pocket to answer it. "Hey Babe." He smiled as Meredith's voice rang in his ears.

"Mark I thought I could do this alone but I can't." She confided. Mark sighed sympathetically. What was he doing at work when Meredith clearly needed him? "Where are you?" he asked. "I'm on my way."

* * *

They laid in a tangled mess on the living room floor and Addison couldn't keep the smile off of her face, this was what she had wanted; a second chance with Derek. "This is prefect." She finally said as she tried to snuggle closer. "It is." Derek sighed contently as he kissed Addison on the forehead. "We're acting like teenagers." Addison laughed as she placed small kisses on Derek's bare chest. Derek hugged her tightly as she laid in his arms. "I don't want to be without you anymore." He told her seriously.

At his words Addison sat up. "Do you really think we can start over?" She asked tearfully. Derek sat up as well and took Addison's face in his life saving hands and planted a loving kiss upon her lips. "We're going to try, and it will be worth it."

Meredith waited outside of the small diner for Mark as she watched a young woman walk in and approach her fathers table. He stood up to hug her and he seemed to light up at her presence. He had never been so happy to see Meredith and she found herself floating in a bubble of unhappy childhood memories. Why was she here doing this to herself? Looking inside at the man she called her father who she barely knew made her feel sick, maybe this wasn't what she wanted. As she turned to walk away she heard Mark screaming her name in the distance.

"Mer!" Marked called as he approached her. He hugged her tightly and kissed her on the cheek. "I'm sorry I should have just come with you when you mentoned it this morning."

Meredith shook her head. "No, it's okay, I don't want to do this anymore."

Mark's brows furrowed in confusion. "Hey, no come on." He said giving her hand a little squeeze. "You can do this. I'm right here." He smiled. "I'm gonna be right there with you." Meredith exhaled and she nodded her head as she let Mark lead her into the diner. Mark's heart began to pound harder, and faster as they reached Thatcher's table, he prayed it wasn't her but he noticed the woman's hair cut and then she got up from her seat and turned around to face them. "Meredith!" Thatcher smiled as he reached to embrace her. Mark could tell it was an awkward hug on both ends. "Lexi I want you to meet Meredith." The two women shook hands and greeted each other, and Mark couldn't say a thing, he stood there with a lump in his throat the size of Texas. "Thatcher I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Mark." The men shook hands and invited them both to sit. Lexi worse a sexy smirk and she asked Meredith a million questions all through lunch, To someone like Thatcher you'd think she was getting to know her sister but to Mark he just couldn't tell. He couldn't believe the anonyms woman from the bar was Meredith's sister.


	28. Authors Note

**AN**: Hi guys! I know it's been forever! But I have NOT given up on this story. It's a LONG story but anyway before I start to update again I want to thank everyone who has found this story and alerted it and I really hope I haven't lost any readers. Before I start to post again I want to go over the story and edit it and make t better for you guys. Thanks so much for sticking with me! I'm BACK! I';; also be starting a new fanfic. My very first Twilight story, It will probably be all Human if any of you are intrested and want to read it (once I find a beta). Anyway thanks so much again and I'll be updating within the next two months most likely! :)


End file.
